Rushmore_Judd - Profile

Rushmore_Judd

LV 1
2022-03-08 Joined Global

Moments 31

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

line 4 in her own HEART (missing)

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Crossroads

Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Line 4 Mussels should be muscles

Her concentration was broken when he got close and kissed her on the lips then all she could think of was being in his arms. As they kissed, she slid her hands down his body and under his shirt. She found herself almost drooling from the rippling mussels that formed his chest. The excitement of the moment got to her and she ripped his shirt open. She loved the look of it with all the rippling muscles, just the right amount of hair, she would have something to play with but not so much it was furry.

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

First line: 'rite' should be RIGHT

The man nodded without a second thought he knew what he wanted and rite now that was Janette. the other two looked at each other and agreed that it wasn't that much. Lola looked at the excitement that was in Kimberley's face and couldn't turn her down. So she agreed as well.

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Line 2: so he got damp clothe = got A damp CLOTH

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

last sentence: I'd recommend elimination "at least"

The ones that had finished and couldn't take any more went into the tub and held each other as they watched. They were entranced by all the love that was thick in the room, each getting a special memory of the events. The sixth looked over at the pile on top of Janette, Diane was still trembling inside from her last orgasm, so Diane went over and placed a passionate kiss on Kimberley's lips. This was not the first time she looked into Kimberley's eyes, her heart filled with love, but Kimberley belonged to Lola. She was only allowed to touch her when they were in a group setting such as this. Diane had found out that the two of them were going to be here. She had planned to be here so she could at least share her. Kimberley could see the immense love in Diane's eyes and wrapped her arms around her as they kissed. When the kiss ended Diane wanted to be alone with her but knew that this wouldn't happen, so she climbed on her face letting Kimberley deep into her. Kimberley not only stuck a tongue deep into her but slid in two fingers as well. Kimberley made sure to start rubbing Diane's g spot right away. Kimberley knew how much love was there and wanted to at least give her something only she could give.

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Why the ** to start the paragraph?

**The fourth stood up and started French kissing the third who was riding Janette she was sandwiched with the third in front of her and the second behind and Janette under her and they all started rubbing all over her body at once. The third that was riding Janette's face started kissing and licking her back while rubbing up and down her body. The third that was already cumming from riding Janette came even harder once they started rubbing their nipples together. The third and the fourth gazed into each other's eyes and hugged as the waves of pleasure washed over them. As the cum sprayed out of her and onto Janette, she slid her hands up and down her legs unable to stop anything just enjoying everything. It was a tremendous high that at this moment she never wanted to come down from.

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Second sentence = needs a capital S

As Janette's body contracted and convulsed from the massive orgasm that she was trapped in she felt the dizziness starting so she franticly pulled back. she was not ready to have this end so fast. When she pushed away the one with her tongue in her mouth backed off a little and Janett said, "Please OMG Please I am getting dizzy Please I need some time."

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Beet (like the vegetable) red not Beat read

She looked up at him with a smile. She had never had a massage in her life but had always wondered what it was like. She wanted to stand but she wasn't wearing anything. As her face turned to beat read Will grabbed a towel for her. She gave him a huge smile and thanks. Janette went to stand up and didn't make it very far before her legs went out from under her and back into the tub.

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Blindfold not blindfolded

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Did you mean FIST versus FIRST

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

How did she feel it? Did he press it against her?

Benny moved in front of her, he towered over her by a foot and easily 175 lbs. Janette had a great body and large breasts for her size, but she seemed like a child compared to Benny. He grabbed her breast with one hand and the force pushed the chains, pulling them tighter. His hand circled it and she felt the power and the size of his member, which terrified her. She started to cry saying, "No please no you just can't there is no way I could possibly take something like that."

Crossroads

Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Rushmore_Judd
Commented

comply," not comply".

The little man started to speak up when the large man grabbed his shoulder and said, "We understand the rules and we will comply", Benny said.

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

'They turned to look' She of course has a blindfold on so it might be better to say. The audience turned to look.

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

What is Janette's reaction to hearing "the next day!"

"5 minutes please and we will begin again. The hour is getting late, anyone that wishes may head to their rooms. The rest will continue with the entertainment. We have time for one more round before she must rest for the next day" said Will.

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Her soul felt free. One of the liberties that comes with being tied up is the fact that there is no expectation to please the other and this frees the bound one to just enjoy the feelings without the need to reciprocate. Just a thought if you wanted to add it in some way.

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

It's a lot to drink without a bathroom break

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

commas before and after 'my slave'

"Now my slave do it correctly the way you were taught and don't be greedy", said Mistress Lola sternly.

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

line 8 Was managing should be managed

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Urban · foyah689

Rushmore_Judd
Commented

Line 7 'she' should be 'HER wetness flowed'

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Crossroads

Urban · foyah689

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