YuuTsumika - Profile

You use 'and' way too close to each other. The pov is a mess. It's 1st person one chapter then 3rd person next. For example in the 1st chapter, in third person pov part, Bodie and Draekai changed way too suddenly without any warnings. I'd advice sticking to one pov and put warnings before you switch. The names suffice but you don't put them sometimes. That aside, I quite like the story. The characterization is good and I like how the story progresses. Keep up the good work.

So, as I said in chapter one, you are not gonna be able to let me, let go of this one. I like the idea, I love the mc and the names the people around him. The writing is bit confusing for readers due to the excessive use of as and by but It's nothing you can't change. I like how the MC is from Philippines too, i never see lot of those so it's bit special for me. Keep up the good work, or I'll hound your ass for more chapters.