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I'd really love to see "It was a question that they knew the answer to," elaborated on, so I'm gonna share my most favorite piece of advice ever: Chuck Palahniuk "In six seconds, you’ll hate me. But in six months, you’ll be a better writer. From this point forward—at least for the next half year—you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use. The list should also include: Loves and Hates. And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those later. Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…” Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.” Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it. Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’s roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.” In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
It was a question that they knew the answer to. In fact, they both hated extra work, but they signed up for this class nonetheless. Actually, the reason most, if not all the people in the class signed up for it, if not for it being compulsory to them, was because the lecturer was one of the kindest and warmhearted people most people would've ever met. To top it off he was handsome, really handsome. He mostly wore light coloured slacks and shirts. It matched well with his sandy hair which was styled in a mid-length comb-over. Today he was wearing brown loafers, his usual beige slacks and a surprisingly different but well-matched dark blue shirt.
In the end you weren’t worth it
Teen · AlixGHF
I'd actually would have found it quite funny if we (albiet briefly) got to see them get publically humiliated in front of the class. In any case, the teacher seems fond of his students but at the same time, kind of a hardass. Interested to see more of 'em.
After the class was over Emma was left looking drained, "Did he really have to call us up for every problem??" Ren turned to her, clutching her books tighter, "I swear he gave us extra work too. Why did we even take this class…"
In the end you weren’t worth it
Teen · AlixGHF
I think I like Ren already <3
Renée looked at her and used the most deadpan voice, "Oh how pitiful you are, all the woes in this world do so happen to befall you. Of course, I would buy something for her majesty, miss Emmaline to ensure her happiness henceforth."
In the end you weren’t worth it
Teen · AlixGHF
I think this opening is very interesting, though, this was a little confusing since the dialogue of these two characters was placed in the same paragraph. I recommend starting a new paragraph when someone new is speaking.
"I'm sorry!" She exclaimed nervously. He smiled and he gave her a kind look. "Yes well, get to your seat so we can begin." She hurried to a seat near the back of the class. She put her things down quickly on the seat to the right of her.
In the end you weren’t worth it
Teen · AlixGHF
I'm so suspicious of "nice" teachers everyone likes skgnjsgsms, I'm scared of how this is going to end
It was a question that they knew the answer to. In fact, they both hated extra work, but they signed up for this class nonetheless. Actually, the reason most, if not all the people in the class signed up for it, if not for it being compulsory to them, was because the lecturer was one of the kindest and warmhearted people most people would've ever met. To top it off he was handsome, really handsome. He mostly wore light coloured slacks and shirts. It matched well with his sandy hair which was styled in a mid-length comb-over. Today he was wearing brown loafers, his usual beige slacks and a surprisingly different but well-matched dark blue shirt.
In the end you weren’t worth it
Teen · AlixGHF