Would take a meaningful relationship which prompts character development over the boring Harem power fantasy any day of the week.
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Movies · 4give_NoobWriter
Love the chapter, its great getting to see some of the character's depth.
ch 23 [23] First Experience
Anime & Comics · Outlier
I get the angle your trying to take but just doesn't feel real. He can feel fear while still feeling some loss. Even without using the loss, the focus of this chapter wasn't on his fear of death, just his pursuit of power and getting rid of his step mom. This could of been an opportunity to focus on that fear and that this death is a wake up call. I've been enjoying the fic, just worried its galling into the power grind pitfall. Gaining power isn't his goal, he just needs power in order to achieve it. Also hopes he eventually develops a reason to live other than fear of death.
ch 19 [19] True Colours
Anime & Comics · Outlier
While I get the whole 'not my real dad' thing, they still had a good relationship. This could of been an opportunity to develop the character more, by having him shocked at how the death affected him. Instead the focus was on the step-mom in this weird edgelord power trip. Really like the world building but the MC lacks depth, just feels like a typical shallow power-fantasy character.
ch 19 [19] True Colours
Anime & Comics · Outlier
Not a fan of you taking this angle. There's other ways to create his backstory without going the pedo route.
As he was walking in the streets of London, enjoying the money he got from a pedophile who asked him for an inappropriate portrait of children.
Book&Literature · jaliko
Think Grindelward is the bigger lapse in judgement.
Albus prided himself on being a good judge of character. He had been wrong just once in his life, and that was with Sirius. His mistake had cost the lives of two of his brightest students and the fracture of his own Order after the end of the War. Quite a lot of the members had to hide once it was revealed Sirius was a spy, as he had been part of the main core of the Order.
Harry Potter: Ero World
Book&Literature · light_novel_addict