Badges 4
Moments 69
can omit this
But this isn't the primary objective given to them. There are many suspects held, but the check-up wasn't over yet.
Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Show criminals going out the underground, etc.
The illegal hideouts of bandits and slave traders have been identified after this sudden check-up. Because the gates have been completely locked down, there's no escape for the bad guys.
Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Show more chaos
Suddenly, chaos visited the town governed by the Ravelgrace kingdom. Knights scatter throughout the public and even the alleyways.
Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Who's talking?
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Tenses
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
This seems rushed. What's the town looked like?
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Riddit lol
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
A not-so appropriate internal monologue insert
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
tenses
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Make it past tense
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Show the flashback
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
missing dialogue tag
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Noble people can abuse lengthened and mannered speeches.
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
dinner in the morning?
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
This is an unnecessary mention since he's not there. Showing works in his reappearance on the latter chaps
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
Replace repeated words
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
trait of the dark lord that she needs to avoid?
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
seven-year gap
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
reason? is it necessary?
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Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata
the details here can be expound more
By chance, a girl in a maid suit breathlessly rushed towards the gate. When Castor approached her, she's bathing from sweat.
Kyouhana: The Dark Lord's Bride Offering
Fantasy · RyujiSakamata