MestreSaiga - Profile

Hooray for power armor!!

Thank you for your attention and consideration. Not many writers pay attention to comments and respond (politely).

Wow, I (mildly) criticized the writing format just a few hours ago and now a chapter has come out that is pure literary juice. I give my hand, the writer knows how to write a captivating chapter when he tries, even if it's just a little. I just recommend that you focus more on the quality of writing each chapter than on the frequency of releases. You know, quality over quantity. (But between you and me, everyone likes it when updates are frequent and chapters are a good length and content.) I know it might seem like an insult to some people, but I recommend you read an avatar fanfic. It's not to criticize or anything, but because the work is really very good, very original and very well written. "Focused Fire (ATLA)" is the name. Thanks for the chapter. It made my day better.

Did anyone else notice the abrupt change in perspective? From one to the other, just like that, it went from the protagonist's perspective, from his internal thoughts, to a third-person perspective. There wasn't even a warning, it just happened. I tried not to think too much about writing the story, believing that the plot and development of the story could make up for it and that the writer will improve with time, but it's kind of hard to let go after seeing a brutal mistake like that.

Just once in my life, just once, I would like to see an avatar fanfic where the protagonist is not a bender. I mean, it can't be that hard, right? Just give a skill an ability or power based on Chi manipulation and something new and interesting can emerge. The series has already confirmed several times that bending is not the only thing you can do with Chi. And it's not like a fanfic needs to be limited to the rules of the world either. But other than that, the story is really fun. There are some things here and there that I think could have been explored better, but it's not like it's the end of the world. The only thing I believe I can complain about is that the story moved too quickly with very little development. From what I understand, Akimaru is 15 years old, but he finished school 3 years earlier than usual? Do young people from the Fire Nation graduate at 18, even those who are going to join the army? I always thought it was earlier, since Azula's trio are all teenagers who are definitely not yet 18 in the series. What I found most strange is that his family is so idiotic, but so idiotic that they didn't even try to leverage their own position using their intellect. It doesn't take a genius to understand that the kid has a pretty good head on his shoulders. If it were me in their place, I would try to place him in a position that exploited this intelligence, such as a strategist, engineer or even a developer of military equipment. How good would it be for their social and political standing if someone in the family got an important position? Ultimately, I think things are happening too quickly for the story's good. Aki and Azula need better development, they deserve decent development. This separation seems more like a bad excuse for the story to follow the canon, as well as being too cliché to accept.

The quality of the story suffered a slight decline in these last two to three chapters, but nothing unbearable. The most incredible thing of all is that the author managed to make me feel sorry for Azula. That Azula. The crazy woman with an ego that surpasses even her father. But if there's someone you can't forgive, it's Ursa. Was it difficult to show even the slightest amount of affection for your own daughter? No wonder the psychopathic princess was so broken at the end of the series. I have to admit, I kind of like these stories that subvert the roles of heroes and villains and put things into perspective. In the end, everyone has their share of the blame. I just can't understand how Aki couldn't put the pieces together. I mean, it's common sense, for natives and reincarnates alike, that only Fire Nation royalty has golden eyes. At least that's what I remember.

Be honest. Does this work still have any hope? I mean, a year is no small feat and I really enjoyed the original development of this story.

🇧🇷 Lol. First episode that Kieu did not appear. I liked. As a form of story expansion, to show that there is more going on in the story that isn't around the protagonist, at least not directly. Ps. I really hope Kieu's Devil Trigger is something original.

I understood the reference.

Dropped?

I understood the reference.

🇧🇷 I blame the author.

Is it funny that my first comment on the story is after it ended? I think it depends on the perspective. I won't say I liked everything about the story, but I guess that's the way it is. You like some things and not others. I don't think the story was bad, on the contrary, it was very good. I think the most striking aspect about the story is how it deviates from the canonical plot in the most unconventional way possible. Usually it's that hero thing that starts out dominated and solves all the problems, prevents bad things from happening and creates a harem with all the women he meets. Familiar Unconsolidated completely deviates from this premise and presents a darker and crueler, but also more human and realistic perspective of what would happen to someone in Michael's situation. I'm not going to lie, the guy is full of flaws and has a screwed up mind, but he's no less human for that, even after becoming a god and then a fundamental force. I personally believe that I would have made many of the same choices he made, not all, but many. Enough to regret it, if there was still anything left of my original self. Many of Michael's choices have caused more harm than good, especially in Familiar of Zero, but isn't that how the real world works? The choices we make, the things we do, even if well intentioned, do not necessarily cause the best result. That was his case. He made a decision, he made a mistake, the consequences of his actions fell on him and he had to deal with those consequences, however unfair they were. Perhaps events would have turned out differently if he hadn't killed that noble boy (whose name I won't bother remembering), but that time has passed. Honestly, I really liked that the story took such an unusual path, it would have been much less interesting and much more predictable otherwise.

🇧🇷 I really liked the story proposal. I hope you continue writing. There aren't many Gravity Falls stories and the ones that do exist have been taken down. As for the protagonist's lineage, I have no idea. The only thing I can think of are the muses from Greek mythology or Alone from The Los Canvas, because of the painting thing and everything.

🇧🇷 There's no denying it, the author knows how to make a chapter ending that keeps us hooked on the same level that leaves us frustrated.

🇧🇷 Talk about something mind blowing and this story is sure to deliver. Congratulations, author. You've outdone yourself again.

Dropped?

🇧🇷 I really liked the fanfic proposal, the protagonist reincarnated as a non-human is not exactly rare, but it is not common either. It's interesting. I hope that the MC can acquire a more defined and permanent form as a tangible, corporeal entity. Being stuck in a two-dimensional state must have its uses, but it also seems pretty boring. I think the story can still improve a lot, but I hope it doesn't get discarded. There are very few Adventure Time fanfics and I know of only one that hasn't been taken down. The chapters are very short and the development was very fast, very rushed. Maybe this is more of a Piece of Life type story, but I think there should be a little more plot and development on the protagonist's part. I have nothing against time skips. In fact, I think they are very useful and convenient, but only when used in the right way. It's okay to skip repetitive and/or meaningless things, but the time jump between one chapter and another cut out a lot of usable content. I recommend reading other works to help develop your writing, such as {Supreme Magus}, {Avatar, A Lost Survivor on Pandora}, {A Soulsborne's Traveler System}, among other good works. Good luck with your work. Ps. The last fanfic on the list of recommendations has a lot of gore, I don't recommend it for those who don't like heavy scene descriptions. Just warning.

🇧🇷 Finally! Thank you very much, author.