I'm glad the prologue is brief to just get the basics established so the story can start. I did wonder exactly who she was running from...(I assume humans but can't say). But they don't stand much chance of catching her if she's lightning quick!
ch 0 1 Prologue
Fantasy · stormylfl
That was chippy and snippy, along with internal rhyme! This was nigh Shakespearean for a second
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How exactly did this information leak? Are you suggesting it was the aliens wanted it to get out there, or were other vampires spying?
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Could be interesting if you slightly described the manor's architecture, but it's really great all the parallels drawn as the vampiric equivalent to human nature - seems perhaps the alien may be right after all
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Nice, this sentence is loaded like a twin-barrel shotgun
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This seemed pretty trashy for the Alien - not the Vampire of course. And I'm surprised his species even wants to kiss exactly. You might imagine they have different customs. That could be amusing if there was a little culture shock involved
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Well, I beg to differ. Vamps don't necessarily read minds, and they can be killed if their heart gets detached or pulverized enough right? *but nevertheless, yes nearly invincible even to disease* Nice touch
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She must not have been a vampire very long. Or maybe it's undead insensitivty eh?
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You missed the quotations here it looks like
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Hyprocrites always thinking they should have a safe environment to raise their own aspirations in while trampling down others' - and on top of this, Well explored character sensitivity by mentioning her highest priorities (and therefore highest weaknesses)
Kinley got very quiet, too, she turned her eyes towards the floor, and whispered with an uncanny shyness:"Ideally, I'd start a family with him, but I am worried about the curse. Maybe it has affected my womb as well. It would kill me to give birth to a dead child, or worse, a demonic abomination. I so do want to see our healthy children play safely on the Ruby Hills."
Fantasy · IkuSaari
Now THAT should be the real mural, lol. Funny!
Serenica found this outburst to be comical, as there was no such thing as an actual king in the Lean family, even if the family did exist. Sennas had one king, and that man was the mild-mannered Guyl the Kind. Another thing that made Serenica chuckle inside her head was the mental image of the two princes side by side, the freakishly thin Dreamer and a morbidly obese heir wearing a fake crown and eating sweets from a massive jar.
Fantasy · IkuSaari
haha, and almost literally kissing it by fashioning a dress over it
"There is a likeness, though," Serenica caught herself saying. Why did she have to make Kinley like her? The woman wanted to imprison or kill her ilk and here she was, posturing and kissing her ass.
Fantasy · IkuSaari
Funny pig! Yay pink hair!
ch 0 2 Calm Before Storm
The Last MUSE
Fantasy · stormylfl