- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 0.5 h of Reading
- 24 Read books
Taki_01
LV 2Badges 4
Moments 21
I love the prologue. It's really nice how there is so much potential for the story to kick off from just this chapter. I hope we can get some of the lore in detail and if we don't, that's fine. I just want to see how well it all plays out.
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Alright then. I'll give it a try but I'm busy during the week so it might be a slow read
ok. Can you rate this part /10?
ch 16 Bonus Chapter: N
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
this error has been corrected btw thank you
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Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
Time to ourselves as in time for them to talk without the lady present. Just time for the boys to chill and talk.
Jeremiah: Come on. Just sit, she'll be back. I don't think we have even had time to ourselves since.
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
My mistake. Thank you for spotting it. From the narration of events there, you'd see they only headed there to look implying it was already open. The mistake was in my dialogue. Aaron was supposed to say look in the drawer and not open.
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Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
Sorry about that. It's not an open ending, that's the first part of the story. If it ended there, Jeremiah wouldn't end up anywhere and that wouldn't be good for our traveler. Think of it like a volume. Thank you so much for finishing this part of the story.
ch 16 Bonus Chapter: N
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
35-40 give or take. What you're reading is the first part of the story
ch 10 10. The Movie
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
No it's fine. My story isnt perfect or anything. I'll just answer what I can. If you're up to date, you should look forward to the chapter I'll publish today
ch 10 10. The Movie
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
Thank you for the reviews. It honestly helps.
ch 10 10. The Movie
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
Yeah they don't have a dialogue like that in the Titanic. I wanted to use a line from the movie but I wanted to create an opening for N to make his reveal and ruin the climax and there is no line that would work from that scene. About Aaron, the main reason why I made the characters not so hostile or frightened towards him is because they haven't all recovered their memories at that point. They could be just like him so judging wouldn't be the best route for them to take. The only character that was understanding of him was Jeremiah and the others that hated him for it were George and Lisa. It's just the way George was quick to forget what he did that differs from how Lisa took the issue.
ch 10 10. The Movie
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
You're getting to the exciting part of the story.
ch 0 7 7. The Old Lady
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
Literally crying. Thank you so much
ch 0 1 1. The Room
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
Thank you for the review. I hope I won't disappoint you like with the books you read in the school on the long run
ch 0 1 1. The Room
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
I totally love the premise and character design. I'll be following your work for inspiration
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Thank you for reading
ch 0 1 1. The Room
Keep Walking
Fantasy · Taki_01
I haven't gone too far but a good way would be to introduce a character/survivor from the race, Naphilar to narrate the event. I don't know about how their race works and how long they live but if there is one that possibly witnessed the whole thing and is still alive, it would be a good way to narrate the story from his POV. If it's not possible, there could also be records or documents from history that could be found somewhere.