Daoist1X1cCF - Profile

He uses ChatGpt.

When does the monologue stop? I mean its been 14 pages of him talking to himself in the head and im tired of reading a conversation na mean?

1) Come up with your own ideas. Using a mashup of other animes and books to get your ideas... is frankly lazy and unimaginative. I quit at this page bc i cqnt continue to be horrified at the lazy continuance.

Couldnt stand to read the 1st 4 chapters. get an imagination.

Hahahahaha Steve is an idiot. I would nrver mess around with someone who can control time albeit just a couple seconds. That is literally the difference of somone reaching into their pocket and lining a muzzle up to your head.

Ive skipped the past few chapters when they got arrested bc that was dumb. Seriously. A girl who wouldnt shut her mouth escalated a simple robbery into something a lot more and this guy wants to stick around with her?.. No thanks.

Not a lot can hear screaming/noises from under the ground. Seems to me to be a noise dampener whenever i used it.

Why didnt he simply sell the card for millions? He needs money. Not power. With his luck points he can simply buy new cards to open. I.. am flabbergasted.

What sort of hot garbage is this? Talking Frogs, him thinking people running off buildings is normal, and people ripping off other people faces is sexual. Literally...

I think you need to think real hard about the personalities of your MC and his interactions.

stop asking questions. Stop it. Stop. Stop it.

Rather than reading about what other peoples say/feel/ and how their faces look about the main character or their "class" outside of the arena. I would have rather you put more effort into explaining his enviroment/ what he was going through. ei: if the mc doesnt see or hear it. Why should we care?

aaaannnnddd dropped. You are taking the whole dicrimination thing a bit too far at this point and it has become the only thing you write about at this point. It has become highly annoying.

11 year old? Sorry but have you seen a 11 year old child? They are roughly 95 lbs. They cant swing a firaxe with enough force and power to chop a human head off with no sound or attracting the attention of the thing. Also... are you making a little kid be lewd and think of women in mens terms? thats a little dumb.

Guys like this are the literal worst.

He took out a submachine gun for protection in the middle of the woods? r u fr?

So does he have a family or not? My suggestion is for the writer to quit trying to play both scenarios. #1 a random person teleported into a new world will not care about the family of the person he replaced. #2 as a foster kid/orphan, caring about others is the literally last thing you try to think about as your survival comes first. Have him worried about food and a place to sleep