Maybe_you_are_whit

7mth

Commented

Wake up, the darkness does not welcome you.

Arcanist Tales

Fantasy · XcrapttS

Maybe_you_are_whit

7mth

Replied to rander_toll

Bajungas

Arcanist Tales

Fantasy · XcrapttS

Maybe_you_are_whit

7mth

Commented

TELLL USSS

tls123: You won't know it because it is an unknown competition.

Omniscient Reader

Urban · 싱숑

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

They*

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Period instead if comma and too passive

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Change punctuations in this

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Make this sentence more active and less confusing

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

This dialogue confusing

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

No comma may be need here but not sure

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Show don't tell

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

But comes after the comma

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Limit passive sentences

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Holding back might be less wordy

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Lower case And ,

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Ok now you telling much and not enough showing

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

The whole sentence maybe

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Was coming can be changed to stronger verb

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Capitals

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

It is???

Maybe_you_are_whit

1yr

Commented

Sentence somewhat boring

Maybe_you_are_whit - Profile