Juan_Cardenas_8016 - Profile

Yes, great few chapters author

So far I think the story has potential. Advice: 1. Grammar needs a bit of work to be honest, there are a bunch of mistakes that take always from the story. 2. I expected a bit more from the fight in the tutorial, it was a bit… anticlimactic. The way he killed the level 10 goblins was just too bland. That was his first fight in the book; it could have been a bit more grand in my opinion.

Hey author, great novel so far. I was wondering why you never mention him training spells or practicing his fighting style astral tyrant. Adam seems to excel at fighting but never trains now?

Gender bending? Did he become a woman or did I misunderstand?… what a shame, you should put this in the synopsis of the novel, a lot of people dislike gender bending. Good luck with the book author!

Si far im very engaged, i really like his talents and the power system seems solid, I’m very glad he doesn’t use a sword as a weapon too, almost every mc does. Just a piece of very subjective advice, but try to make the character unique, don’t make him like 90% mcs that have “all element affinity” and can do everything, i think reading about a character that uses fewer things in clever ways is much more intriguing. Keep it up author!

Pretty good so far, how come he hasn’t created any techniques based on his experience. Also another thing i think could be improved is the distinction in power levels, making it clearer how powerful each level is and their differences makes the story more immersive. Another thing I will say is that the fact he gets to have 7 helpers (the sins), but they all have to be women is pretty lame honestly, why take a nice concept and turn it into a harem? Lastly, about the legacy and his bloodline. He received a legacy from a warlock but the system seems more like something a demon would make (7 sins) and his bloodline seems to have been absolutely useless so far.

I like the story so far, I think some plot developments are weird though, he miraculously recovered but it seems nobody has made any fuss about it, its kind of strange. Another thing is the fights can be more interesting if you add more creative ways that people can use mana. I think that will also help you enjoy writing fights too. I don’t know if you’ve read Hunter x, but in my opinion that manga has some of the best fighting sequences ever written in fantasy, just saying it cause u might be able to draw inspiration from it. Keep going, practice makes perfect.

Hmm I was a bit disappointed, it’s the first proper fight he’s had since the start of the novel, but he didn’t reveal any new abilities or do anything special with his affinity.. also his rank still hasn’t been mentioned explicitly.

I like this story a lot so far, hope you don’t drop it. Only thing I think could improve so far is more information about mana and how powerful exactly each rank is on average, you can do this by drawing parallels with reality, for instance a blue core is able to destroy a town or city with an attack is a parallel that gives readers an idea of the power levels. Another thing is the development of havok, we still don’t know any of the new abilities except whispers from Satan, and we also don’t know his rank, a bit of explanation about his abilities wouldn’t hurt by the way.