Badges 1
Moments 11
This hasn't changed from the honeyfeed contest as I remember it. Good. Still a good read.
This book has been deleted.
Interesting opening.
Her caretaker told her that her father was at home from last night and that she could meet him after taking breakfast.
Henan Zhong: Three Wooers, The Bride Is Not Ready Yet
History · _Sha
I like the backstory details, which lets me get a good grasp of the protagonist. I clicked on your story because your premise got my interest. Sorry if this might be a downer, but I'm gonna be honest. Your writing is good, but your format needs some work. With the dialog bunched up together, it screws up the reading flow. Dialog should be broken out in paragraph per speaker/POV. Otherwise, it can be hard to follow. You're doing a story no one else is doing here, and it has potential to really kick some power stones your way. I'd only give this kind of advice to writers who I feel can go far. Keep at it.
This book has been deleted.
The opening is good, but it's also a bit of an info dump. But it's concise, that at least I have a good grasp of the protagonist.
This book has been deleted.
Interesting but I guess it would make sense that being blind his other senses would be heightened.
The man's voice carried a soft almost melodic tone that held care and confidence without any quivers or undertones to suggest a hidden intention. He was a genuine kind man.
To My Sunflower
History · Veronica8
That gotta hurt.
His trigger finger accidentally released bullet rounds into the air. Smoking hot shells fell around his body. He yelped at the burning pain he felt to his right arm from a bullet shell on his skin.
To My Sunflower
History · Veronica8
Lots of detail in a short paragraph. [img=recommend]
Humidity and rain had hit the village hard. Its downpour had been going solid for the last four days, turning the gardens and surrounding paths into muddy sludge.
To My Sunflower
History · Veronica8
I only give reviews when a story is worth one. I'm giving 5 Stars for this one. The quality is like terry pratchett and monty pythons. I see this on the first chapter, which is well written. The author makes writing almost too easy. Reading the chapters is smooth. I like that they don't info dump on the details, but gives enough to set the scene. I don't see much of a negative at this stage. I guess the negative is the story is still in progress and the chapters can be short. I've read more on honeyfeed before it was removed. Hope author continues it.