very interesting premise, the characters seem to feel realistic and well-written, and you can get a sense of where the story is going whilst at the same time leaving you with questions. there are some grammatical errors here and there, along with some tense inconsistencies, but it's still legible and doesn't take away much from the overall experience while reading.
vindyr's queen...?
She certainly possessed a noble look about her, as she had blonde, golden hair done in a fancy braid, along with a flowing red cape and light armor that a beginning adventurer would wear. She also had gentle purple eyes, a color that suited a person of her status.
Fantasy · helsia
what an intelligent looking young man!
The man, now known as Invictas, extended his hand towards the young woman, and gazed into her eyes with his soft, green eyes.
Fantasy · helsia
"a new me."
After combing and straightening it out for a bit, she tied her hair in a single side ponytail. For the final touch, she grabbed the red flower she always wore and attached it to her hair, a symbol of her old self.
Fantasy · helsia
a survivor.
Helsyn grabbed the man by his throat in anger, and easily snapped it, just like she had done before. She tossed the man's body through the same hole she had just created moments earlier, and looked at the horrified girl who had just witnessed a traumatic event before her. She used a sharpened skeleton finger to cut the restraints off of the girl's hands.
Fantasy · helsia
"helsyn."
Getting a good look at herself, she stared into her own red eyes, slowly examining her features. Her eyes scanned up and down from her messy hair, to the red flower hair pin she always wore, to her reliable white t-shirt, down to the bandages that covered both her wrists.
Fantasy · helsia
the amount of detail within each paragraph is astounding, you can tell how much effort the author put into describing the characters and the world around them. the dialogue also flows smoothly and naturally, allowing the reader to easily imagine a conversation between two characters in their head. this story is incredibly promising and also takes certain tropes and plays around them, which is always interesting to see. the writing in general is almost flawless, as everything is coherent and makes sense without having to reread anything.
The Tellus Mage
Fantasy · Junethephatcat