simon_herbert - Profile

The beginning works really well and got me into reading this ff. For the most part feels like a new take on HP. But in saying that there are some glaring inconsistencies. Learning the levitation charm twice. MC getting in trouble for having a dagger focus (which really isn't that much more dangerous than a regular wand). Ravenclaw losing their seeker with a broken arm (they have magic, you need a different reason if you want your MC on the team). Ravenclaw Vs Hufflepuff match being first and also on the same day as classes. And then the next day is Griffindor vs Slytherin. Then asking if they are going to the three broom sticks (you got to set that up differently if first years can go). Dialogue since the quiditch arc needs some work as well. A lot of it unfortunately does not make sense.Overall, I've really enjoyed this FF up until the quiditch arc. I can and will forgive a lot of problems, please work on pacing if you are making changes to the timeline like you did. Set up is important. In saying all that I appreciate the entertainment you have given me with you writing it has been fun up until around the 30th chapter. I will continue reading to see if these problems continue.