Badges 5
Moments 361
hey man.the mc is the type of sasuke.that what i meant.that he should not throw his friends.
A headache formed on Austin's head as the crush that Yellow had, was not broken, but he didn't want to be rude, so he replied, "Wow! You look great, Yellow! Very elegant!"
Pokémon : An Unexpected Journey
Anime & Comics · Adamo_Amet
i wonder who this kind and wise gentleman is?.he sounds like a chill dude .
Authors note: Hello to you wonderful folks who read this book of mine. I am sorry for the delay as I had some scheduling issues but please be rest assured that I will try to prevent such errors. And also a shotout to the kind gentleman who advised me on the plot. His advice was a much-needed wakeup call for me. Thank you for your time.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
Good job.i know it's hard but you need a bare minimum of 2000- 3000 words for a chapter.it's easy to reach 2000 words if you show not tell.Anything less then 2000 is not a chapter. here is a guide on how to show not tell: I want you to place your self in your MC shoes completely and describe what he sees,the action his doing,why his doing it and most importantly build your character,a reader need to tell from the Frist time they are introduced what type of person they are for example Richard on the surface is a sarcastic cold loner with a warm heart,Leon on the surface is an idiot pervert that hides a dangerous personality within,he acts dumb but is actually smart. instead of saying the house was blue and the windows were cracked do this:The walls were a deep ocean blue and the windows were jaded and twisted by the impact of whatever stuck it.its glass fragments scattered across the ground as if the wind were the culprit.(don't go over bored with showing and telling,ya need to balance it out.)
ch 0 8 The fight to survive [1]
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
no yellow's is nothing like this trash in adventure red.
When the man found out, he was unable to control his anger and possessiveness so he locked her up in this hell hole.
Pokémon : An Unexpected Journey
Anime & Comics · Adamo_Amet
sigh geuss I will have to put up with this edge despair nonsense.Hey author if your reading this please tell me straight will this novel only get worse because tomuch of something is bad.
ch 232 Chapter no.230 A Dark Past and A Promise
Pokémon : An Unexpected Journey
Anime & Comics · Adamo_Amet
i am angry and amused at the same time at you.I was lied too,man I wish i Read the alternative you in another universe that did not do this.
( Author Note: Do you remember when I asked you guys to read chapter 23: Move Combos because I added some extra paragraphs? This chapter is why I did that, get ready for an existential crisis and calling me a sadistic bastard in the comments. Thanks 👍 )
Pokémon : An Unexpected Journey
Anime & Comics · Adamo_Amet
bro chill.
Hearing Lucario's words, Austin stopped before smirking.
Pokémon : An Unexpected Journey
Anime & Comics · Adamo_Amet
Study all your fav authors to see how to structure your story.(do not copy them but observe). sorry but you activated my teacher mode
ch 0 7 The beginning of the end
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
Hmmmm. has potential but if you want this to go far then you need to do what i said in the previous chaps bro.
ch 0 7 The beginning of the end
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
You want to be a pro right take my advice.(keep grinding and improving)
ch 0 6 Little Red Riding Hood
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
bro needs to redo everything. Its too fast.
"Mother?! Did I do something wrong?" Richard asked bewildered by her sudden attack. He started to notice her changes. For starters, her eyes were pure white, and her skin was way too pale. There was also a huge bite mark in her neck area.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
No prob with that, slow pacing can be good for character interaction although this depends on your skill ,also do not drag your story. What do i mean by that?. well don't take 25 chaps to explain or show a single scene.
Author's note: Everybody the main story will start from the next chapter. These three chapters were just to give an intro into the main characters. The story will be slow paced so please don't expect an instantaneously overpowered protagonist. I also advise you don't skip any side stories as well as it will give crucial insight on the past of characters and why they act that way. Thank for your time.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
Show not tell
ch 0 5 Peace before the storm [3]
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
What?.
"You know I might be an arse but thanks Richard. For everything. For being my friend and spending time with me. Thanks for being there with me. Although I still didn't get why you chose to be my friend though..you after my maidenly body?!" She asked while faking her fear.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
Pull back on your jokes bro and sarcasm. This is not how real people act and behave(correction civil people with a mature brain.)
"Innocent? You? Please spare me the dog shit! That's like saying Trump was a 25 year old underaged mother of two kids, and he was a nun who fights for women rights! Eitherways the library it is." Victoria speaks retorting to Richard's earlier drama while agreeing to head to the library.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
Secondly use the positive females in your life to see how a good women acts and a bad women. balance out your characters. nobody likes a novel where everyone is acting stupid Infront of our Mc. Remember that
"Richard, you bastard!! you made me wait an entire hour for your ass! What the hell were you doing? Jerking off?! But considering you..you would probably cum in the first five seconds! Haha.." The girl scolds and makes fun of him while Richard is just there flabbergasted at how crudely she speaks.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
The character don't feel real. Give them emotions, thoughts. what goes on in her head?, why is she waiting for him.
"Richard, you bastard!! you made me wait an entire hour for your ass! What the hell were you doing? Jerking off?! But considering you..you would probably cum in the first five seconds! Haha.." The girl scolds and makes fun of him while Richard is just there flabbergasted at how crudely she speaks.
the diary of a nobody
Fantasy · deor_invidia
Stop stealing other people's stories!!!!. Man give credit to the Authors!!!!. The true author of this story is called G O G E T A 9 0 0 0. here the link to the completed storyhttps://www.fanfiction.net/s/13690508/1/Future-Bound
Ben 10 : Future bonds
Realistic · DaoistnieFJZ