MudPie_404 - Profile

Nice choice of title and cover. It fit quite well to the story. It started with a conflict from the get go. I prefer it this way. straight to the point. Though I have trouble remembering their names for now but I think the story has potential. I hope the author keeps up with this. The update wasn't so stable but I guess if the chapter was that long then it would obviously take longer to write. Anyway, a piece of advice, your grammar is okay. Easy to understand but your dialogue could do some work and also the way call the people. EX. Green robe lady Instead, you could give her a name or just say the lady wearing a green robe. Green robe lady made me think of a sentient robe that is green and at the same time identifies itself as a woman. It's weird in my opinion. But so far, you are doing good, author. Wish you all the best.

Thanks, PEARL_WANG! Would you mind telling me what kind of "suffocating" do you mean? Is it bad? Should I change it? Break it into smaller sections? I would really appreciate your response, thank you.

Thank you B_DRAG! But uh, could you be more detailed about the review? I know this is only a swap review and I agreed hoping you could give me some sort of feedback. And I did so knowing I only have three chaps at the moment because I believe the first three chaps are the "make or break" of any story. Would you be kind enough to tell how my three chapters went? What do you think of the "inciting incident" on chapter three? What do you think of the world background on chapter 1/prologue and on chapter three where I mentioned about a certain sport? What do you think of my character design/protagonist? What about Blunt? What do you think of him? I know this is just a swap review but c'mon. It screams no effort man. I'm sorry. I hope it doesn't offend you. But it's... a bit disappointing. Again, I'm sorry. I hope it doesn't offend you in any way.

This review is based on the first three chapters as I believe these three are the "make or break" of any story. WRITING QUALITY: The grammar is okay. It was easy to understand but there were some random "deep words" here and there. The paragraph were also kinda long to my liking. I have the attention span of a goldfish that's why. PS. Your dialogue could be better. STABILITY OF UPDATES: Quite consistent, I guess. I checked the table of contents and found out the author started uploading six months ago. Sixty chapters in and three days continuous writing. STORY DEVELOPMENT: [spoilers] A lot have happened during the first three chaps. Some burly dude tryna bully him, he found a peculiar box, picked it up, it turned into a book after it drank some of his blood, then viola, transmigration. The pace was alright in my opinion. CHARACTER DESIGN: Could definitely do some work to be honest. WORLD BACKGROUND: Not much was told.

This review was based on the first three chapters as I believe they were the make or break of any story. WRITING QUALITY: It was easy to understand. No unnecessary jargon that would otherwise destroy the immersion if used just for the sake of it. It was straight to the point and the length was just the perfect length for my attention span that wasn't any bigger than that of a goldfish. STABILITY OF UPDATES: I checked the table of content and the author seemed to be updating just fine. I hope he keeps this up though. STORY DEVELOPMENT: Every chapter progressed quite well. While short, they definitely aren't pointless (if you know what I mean) like, just there for the word count. In this story, however, the pacing was just right. Not fast nor too slow though I couldn't say for sure yet for the next chapter because like I said, this review was only based on the first three chaps. CHARACTER DESIGN: I like that the protagonist wasn't a male damsel in distress. I am so tired of that trope. I just hope he doesn't get cocky though just cause he got the legacy from Lagon. WORLD BACKGROUND: Nothing to be said yet for the first three chaps but I am giving 5/5 because, well, support.