Badges 4
Moments 39
I know this type of relationship. We all say we would never accept it, but when it happens, it's little by little, and the days aren't always bad. Then, sometime ten years later, you are mentally spent, financially dependent, and wondering why you feel suicidal. Most women blame themselves. It's not their fault they fell foe the physical embodiment of Satan. Their love is a master of deception, and they just wanted love. So sad.
Because she loved him, loved him dearly.
Let's Divorce As Agreed
Urban · Flyingfish Thistledown
She should run from this man. He's a classic narcissist personality. Excellent character development.
Watching his cold face, he drove the car at high speed, then abruptly slammed on the brakes after making a turn. The screeching sound of the wheels rubbing against the ground accompanied his sudden stop. These actions happened too quickly, and Shu Pan struggled to keep up with the pace. With wide, dark eyes, she looked at him.
Let's Divorce As Agreed
Urban · Flyingfish Thistledown
Fabulous close door scene, enough to tell the action and leave the rest to the reader's imagination.
The gentle bedroom light illuminated the bed, and moonlight seeped through the room with a tender breeze. The fine patterns on the curtains came to life, and he gazed at her with tenderness. The atmosphere in the air felt different.
Let's Divorce As Agreed
Urban · Flyingfish Thistledown
Very professionally written. Excellent intros into the mind of the MC in the preceeding chapters. No superfluous words, just enough to move the story along. Bravo.
Suddenly, the sound of keys opening the door echoed in the entrance. The man who walked in had a tall and sturdy figure, dressed in a well-fitted black three-piece suit, highlighting his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and long legs. Upon closer inspection, his facial features were flawless, a clear indication of being heaven's favorite. His narrow eyes were extremely deep, and his jet-black pupils carried a profound and alluring charm that could captivate anyone. The words "handsome" alone couldn't fully describe the man in front of her, although he was undoubtedly handsome. With his thick black hair, prominent nose, and slightly pursed lips, he exuded a hint of seriousness.
Let's Divorce As Agreed
Urban · Flyingfish Thistledown
Gorgeous setting description, I can see it through your words.
In the center of the residential area, there was a large pond planted with numerous water lilies, adding a touch of color to the neighborhood. The developer used the combination of trees and water as a gimmick to attract buyers. During the opening, it attracted a large number of people despite its high price tag, which was among the highest in the city, and it quickly sold out.
Let's Divorce As Agreed
Urban · Flyingfish Thistledown
Ooh. This is a great set up!!! Can't wait to read more.
Shu Pan suddenly remembered something and froze. Every time they had intimate moments, Gu Shaoting never used protection, but he always made her take a vitamin afterward. Could it be a birth control pill? They often discussed having a child, and he would always agree. So why would he ask her to take birth control pills now?
Let's Divorce As Agreed
Urban · Flyingfish Thistledown
Overall, I think this is a good start. I liked the flow of the story and the set up for drama. I would have liked to see some character descriptions a bit more prominently to get an idea of these characters in my mind. Additionally, introducing several characters at once makes it a bit confusing for your reader. Chapter titles with the name of one character and their interactions can help with this. You can unfold their story and really make us love or hate them appropriately. I did love a lot about your story and will keep reading. Great work author!
ch 0 1 The Last Meal
Turns Out, I'm from a Real Aristocratic Family!
Urban · Nunu
I love this paragraph. It's very telling of the character's soul and resonates with any person who has invested everything they have into a project.
"Your late brother and I built this company from the ground up. Aside from my job as the Chief Editor, I also placed my heart and soul into this company. It's only natural that I have sentimental feelings for my job," Kate said as she used her index to poke his chest a few times. "And I won't let a man who lacks any semblance of a work ethic ruin the company I've worked too hard to maintain. I don't want Emperor Publishing to be taken down because of a fool like you."
He Stole Me From My Deadbeat Husband
Urban · ForeverPupa
Beautifully laced with double intention and meaning. Black eyes could mean negative thinking, or it could mean literal black eyes from being beaten, but still the poet looks to the light and positive. I never expected to find such a gem here. Thank you.
Zhang Ye said deeply, "The dark night gave me black eyes, but I use them to seek the light."
I’m Really a Superstar
Urban · Chang Yu
Beautiful words, great chapter.
ch 21 That “The Furthest Distance in the World” Poem
I’m Really a Superstar
Urban · Chang Yu
[img=thinking]I'm laughing out loud. Truly.
Zhang Ye did not have the mental facilities to consider the miracle of being invisible as his body tensed up. He did not even dare to breathe. Under these circumstances, it was very difficult to hold his breath. He endured it so much that even his eyebrows stood up. The fragrance of a mature woman impacted his nostrils!
I’m Really a Superstar
Urban · Chang Yu
This is actually an untrue statement. As few as five cigarettes per day can still cause lung cancer. In the research paper I read, it's thought the smoker inhales deeper due to not having as many cigarettes and thus does more damage. If you'd like to keep the smoking for now, but keep true to the story, have him figure out he's losing 10,000 lottery pts every time he has a smoke, or something so significant he quits.
Zhang Ye first went to a roadside store to buy cigarettes. His addiction was not too bad, as he would smoke two sticks whenever he encountered a good situation.
I’m Really a Superstar
Urban · Chang Yu
I'm not sure the SOB reference fits. It's too modern for the world setting."You think you can get away with touching me? You're a contemptuous blood sucking leech. Leave my sight despicable, insignificant worm."
This book has been deleted.
Hehe. A great line, which accurately conveys the moment before the teeth smashing, and thorough thrashing begins. I can envision his stance to be like Bruce Lee, in Enter the Dragon... and that wry smile. Hehe.
This book has been deleted.
Someday when I grow up and become a real author, I want to write like you. Seriously.
ch 24 Chapter 24
He Stole Me From My Deadbeat Husband
Urban · ForeverPupa