- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 66.4 h of Reading
- 110 Read books
MegMerrilies
LV 12Crochety old bean reading and writing books.
2023-07-09 Joined GlobalBadges 9
Moments 76
remove
As requested, here's the rewritten text with corrected spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors:
Our Last Christmas
Urban 路 S.E. Saunders
weird sentence structure here
I remember looking outside wondering why Snowball wouldn't go back into her doghouse. I wandered out to see what was going on and found her with two puppies under her. I scooped them up and then picked her up (she was a large white husky) under her front legs. I think about it now, and I sweat a little. She could have bitten my face off what with her giving birth, and the weather which would have scared her.
Our Last Christmas
Urban 路 S.E. Saunders
Lovely word picture!
The glass doors at the front of the hospital opened wide and spewed me out into a brand-new world.
Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Healer's Story
Sci-fi 路 Devilbesideyou666
Interesting premise, and great start. Can't wait to read more.
ch 0 2 Was This Hell?
Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Healer's Story
Sci-fi 路 Devilbesideyou666
Thanks, I've never heard of it being left open. Let down, undone or loose, or untied sure.
She took a step back when he came close to her. It didn't stop him from cornering her, and her back hit the wall behind her. He raised his hand towards her face, and she closed her eyes, scared. She shuddered when his fingers trail down from her temple and her jaw and neck. Her blonde hair was left open.
The Crown's Obsession
Fantasy 路 ash_knight17
See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola
ch 0 5 Chapter 5 Today is the 15th
Awaiting the Moon's Return in the Southern City
General 路 Mr. Yan
I am enjoying your story immensely, author, but I am having an issue suspending reality in this scene. Any person, upon discovering they've been shot in the head or having a wound upon their head, would tend to it first with a sense of urgency. As always, your story is your own, and you may write it as you wish, but this took me out of what was a very captivating scene.
This time, he seriously inspected his temple and did not miss a single detail.
Lord of Mysteries
Fantasy 路 Cuttlefish That Loves Diving
This is a very real phenomenon. It's cognitive dissonance produced by abuse. All too often, women excuse this over and over making themselves question what they already know.
"In the end, I only love you, Evangeline. So be a good girl, alright?" The words hit her hard. Was she a fool to want to take revenge? Was all this really normal and it was her exaggerating the accident? She felt her chest tightening but she closed her eyes and did not whisper a word.
Remarried For Revenge
Fantasy 路 Fallen_meteor
One of the things I was told about introducing new characters is that they can feel abrupt to the reader. You show that they're family in this chapter. They have past history, but we've seen none of this struggle in the preceding chapters. This can be easily fixed by having her send him a letter he throws away or stews angrily over. This way, the character is not unknown to your reader.
"So you returned." she smiled with a mocking glare on her face but his stoic eyes did not flicker.
Remarried For Revenge
Fantasy 路 Fallen_meteor
So true. So very true.
Or did he think that she would still melt if he would just smile at her like a dog carving for attention? How delusional!
Remarried For Revenge
Fantasy 路 Fallen_meteor
For clarity sake, the word made would be the correct one instead of taken. 鉂わ笍
"Do you understand why I have taken this decision now?" She sighed, she had already given up on this man when she had decided to marry Damien. They why tears were still pouring out of her eyes like a broken dam.
Remarried For Revenge
Fantasy 路 Fallen_meteor
Great story still, but one does not take a decision. They make one. That's my only nit so far! Can't wait to read more.
"Do you understand why I have taken this decision now?" She sighed, she had already given up on this man when she had decided to marry Damien. They why tears were still pouring out of her eyes like a broken dam.
Remarried For Revenge
Fantasy 路 Fallen_meteor
Excellent story!
ch 0 2 Ready For Her Death Certificate
Remarried For Revenge
Fantasy 路 Fallen_meteor
Not to mention the whole back pocket man thing...
This paragraph has been deleted.
Dona
Urban 路 MegMerrilies
timing?
It was where I first spotted Nis on the fringes, his eyes too curious for someone who belonged to this high society gathering. I followed his gaze, noting it mirrored how I had scrutinized the attendees when I first entered.
Dona
Urban 路 MegMerrilies
trail?
When I lived there, one zoomed out of a set of newly built cupboards and straight out at my face when I opened one of the doors. Another I found circling an old metallic garbage bin. Having faced rats in the trail in my childhood, this seemed perfectly normal. I suppose I should get to the point where this story lives up to its title. See, I didn't know this house was thought of as a haunted house. Until I started going to a school called North Edmonton Elementary. It might have been one of my friends that said:
Our Last Christmas
Urban 路 S.E. Saunders
Great story 馃憦
ch 25 CHAPTER 25
The Reborn Wife Of The Tyrant CEO
Urban 路 black_flowertrend