- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 13.4 h of Reading
- 111 Read books
Pixxie_Mysteria999
LV 2Badges 6
Moments 595
This is such a sad chapter but a great one at best, so keep with a good work.
ch 0 3 Volume 1 Chapter 3 - I'll Avenge You, 'Mom'
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
These three sentences need to be eliminated, and the second one needs to be rewritten as "You'll see for yourself."
"So that the ceiling will collapse on top of you."
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
These two sentences should be eliminated.
Colony Leader Ashley said before getting into a proper fighting stance.
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Replace exclamation mark with question mark.
"What's this!"
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Italics, not quotation marks.
"An item with an unidentified name? I've learnt a lot of things from my former life, and I know that it'll be best if I purchase it."
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Another great chapter.
ch 0 2 Volume 1 Chapter 2 - History of a New World
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
The next two dialogues needs to be together.
"You're the Queen's first hatchling. In other words, if the Queen isn't able to bear queen candidates, you will become the next Queen."
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
All three dialogues needs to be combined in one.
"Now, let's see how the system describes [Black Heart - Breathing Technique]."
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Space
Delete this
Volume 1 Chapter 2 – History of a New World
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Space
You have gained the skill: Memory Compression (Rank:1)
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Describe Colony Leader Ashley.
This ant was Colony Leader Ashley, one of the closest companions of the former Queen of the Ant Clan.
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
The first chapter is a bit good. Keep up the good work.
ch 0 1 Volume 1 Chapter 1- Reborn in a New World
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Space in "Perception:3."
This paragraph has been deleted.
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Too much of "It was a technique that could turn the body into a..."
This paragraph has been deleted.
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Comma in between "know" and "right," and replace a period with a question mark at the end of the dialogue.
This paragraph has been deleted.
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
Delete this. It's repetitive and unnecessary.
Volume 1 Chapter 1 – Reborn in a New World
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives
This is another great chapter and I can't wait to read the next one.
ch 11 Chapter_11: New Beginning
Atonement's Path
Fantasy · FriedrichFriedrice
This needs to be split into paragraphs.
"Zaly, you shouldn't have come with us; it's dangerous for a young boy like you to come in a ruin hunting." Bane's dark hair was tied because it was too long, and his beard was shaved to a stubble. "It was the right choice; this kid needs to see the other side of the world. We need this kid to be mature at such a young age," Ragnar said with a cold and quiet tone; he was rather creepy. His eyes were too tired, his eyebags were darker, and more wrinkles showed up in his temple. And on the left side of his cheeks was a huge scar.
Atonement's Path
Fantasy · FriedrichFriedrice
This story is quite interesting for me to read and I quite liked it. The only problems I have with it are the grammar; everything else is great and keep up with a good work.
Records Of A Seeker: I'm An Ant
Fantasy · 1000000_Lives