Pillars_of_Sand - Profile

Yea and then he went right back to the bar after just coming from there a few mins prior feels like a lot of filler and why isn’t he trying to scan the robot trader or any synths

The ring is kinda a let down a simple spell or potion could give him that ability

The focus on food is getting a bit heavy these last couple chapters hopefully some action soon or at least some more romantic progression at this point MC has a harem of “friends” where nothing ever happens but eating and pooping still one of the better Naruto fanfics out there so good work

Let people write what they want to write no one forced you to read it. You can’t expect someone to become a good writer without experience? Also I enjoy reading it besides the weird grammatical mistakes this chapter

Honestly author really not thinking big enough the greatest martial art is the one the kind of their country practices? Where are the ancient lost manuals what about all these foreign potion brewers in description from far away lands your puny king has the best martial art in history? Ridiculous. Also the pricing disparity is annoying cure you body that’s dying 100k points rather cheap cure your mother 10k gold coins or 100 mil points I mean come on it was a random muchroom or berry if she secretly had a super powerful background who poisoned her it would make sense but this is ridiculous plus he could heal his mother right now with holy drop and cure himself with lust system with a few kisses. He misses the general talent improvement but it solves years of hard work conquering cities just to buy it. Major plot holes all in this system. Also with spending all this money that was going to be so hard to get for sister who won’t be powerful enough to beat the farther for years. It just doesn’t make sense.

Normally I skip the opening settings and only go back to read them if it’s good but this one was really funny and put a smile on my face good work author 🙂

I agree if it needs to be done then either let someone tell mc explicitly or add in a little foreshadowing like “outside the door the maid shed a tear and muttered I wish the patriarch would stop suppressing this boy” or something because when characters act weirdly with no explanation they just feel like plot devices and the story feels hollow

A very large disparity hopefully there is an explanation for this in the future so far reading this has just felt like rage bait.

Why is he not working hard is it a physique issue, mental, or just lazy. As an adult mind he should be competent enough to at least maintain middle of the pack?

I’ll keep reading but the last 5 chapters felt like a rushed flop can’t imagine why you would suddenly change writing styles so quickly, right at a potential climax and the big reveal is nearly meaningless as Nick knows Grindewald can’t be stopped according to Chronos anyway so besides him learning he’s not directly an enemy he’s still is forcing him to fight a god which should be annoying. Nick randomly finding and killing Salazar Slytherin was more believable than every character suddenly losing 200 iq and acting like soulless plot devices.

This plot is extremely out of character for the aurors, ministry, and dumbledore. Dumbledore wouldn’t let him be alone with a wherewolf but knowingly sends him to Voldemort a couple weeks later. It does make sense for Nicks character but you would think he would have to sneak around his own side to do it. Even if they didn’t know who it was it’s clearly no one good. Why risk the heir to Ravenclaw. But the story so far makes it redeemable it just feels like a glaring plot hole. If your going to set something like this up give some background first into why the ministry might be doing this as well as trying to force dumbledores hand into cooperating with them to risk a students life.

I do like the story but the amount of mental anxiety the dude has over telling his family his power just feels awkward, it comes off whinny and extremely self conscious, the same guy who smiled in the face of a superpowered werewolf about to kill him

Thank you for the chapter

What I would change is his status as well known professional to an up and coming prospect who just got a job in the big leagues then all his mistakes and nerves would make more sense even though I know technically the hit is reviving somehow

Too similar to source material. I also enjoyed that book but giving your story the exact same powers kind of ruined all the fun for me. I got over it for certain conversation and descriptions but I was expecting different abilities from the gacha.