Badges 1
Moments 17
The chapter was great, it was nice to see those inner thoughts inside the mc's mind, it kinda reminds me of myself lol. I think the conflict that the mc is facing right now is really a good character development. The mc also realized that even he's smart and perfect the world is still unfair. It's also a good touch that you used the phrase "all is fair in love and war" as the title, it really fits the current situation. The characters in this series is really well written and i think it's gonna be even better as the story progress.
ch 0 6 If all is fair and love and war i can't do this anymore!
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
It was a nice touch that you use the words "obsession" as the title of the chapter it really shows how obsessive he is now and it's a great way to describe his. And her obsession will only give more obstacle for the mc to tackle. Which is good for the mc to test his wits more and overcome all those obstacles. BUT HE FAILED SCIENCE CLASS
ch 0 5 Obsession
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
i can imagine both of them they are cute aswell!
"Hino, you don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed about how you feel," Shizuru said in a reassuring tone. "I'm here for you, and I want to hear whatever is on your mind." A soft smile spread across Hino's face as he looked up at Shizuru.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
okay! i smell a ship here!
Shizuru still asks Hino even if Hino looks lost "Hino, can you continue to listen to the sound of my voice?" He slowly looks up from the table and meets Shizuru's gaze.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
dude! your wife looks fragile! dude how dare you!
This paragraph has been deleted.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
your crossing the line dude! but it make sense
This paragraph has been deleted.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
dude! how dare you treat her like that! she look fragile!
This paragraph has been deleted.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
Girl, what you both did is just something else, it's light and the vibe is good. i love how you both make love without us seeing it. GODAMIT!
As Shizuru wakes up, her eyes adjust to the light and she starts to take in her surroundings. In a brief moment of confusion, she sees Hino next to her. She realizes that they have spent the night together. She notices Hino's muscular body and starts to wonder what exactly happened last night. Her mind starts racing with all the unanswered questions. As she looks closer at Hino, she realizes that he is still asleep and has a small smile on his face. She starts to worry about him, as she wonders if he is okay after what looks like a drunken night together.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
EYYY! HE DESERVE THAT!
As Shizuru spoke to Hino on the phone, he was amused by her desire to know the significance of the rune. He told her that if she really wanted to know, she would have to come back to him. But Shizuru was not ready to give in yet, and she told him, "In your dreams!"
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
This is women empowerment! i like the author empowering woman
As Shizuru remembered that she had a shotgun hidden in her closet, her face was filled with determination and fury. She aimed the gun at the men, her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched. She wasn't going to let them get away with invading her house and pestering her about something so personal. She was ready to defend herself if the men tried to make one more move against her.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
DUDE SLEEEEP!!
Hino groaned and buried his head in his hands. He hadn't eaten or slept in days.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
well i think it's kinda thrilling tho so i liked it.
Shizuru senses a presence following her as she walks home. She looks around and spots a mysterious figure staring at her. She is startled by the sight and decides to walk faster. She notices the figure following her and becomes increasingly anxious as she heads toward her house. Just as she reaches her front door, the mysterious figure catches up with her. And to her surprise, it is her friend, Marie, holding a shortcake for her. Marie smiles and enters the house, relieved that Shizuru is safe and sound.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
you deserve that dude!
Hino said to himself holding his face. "What was that for?"
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
dude! you're so embarrassing! What if your wife pays your bills and your internet to get sauces?
This paragraph has been deleted.
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai
In my opinion Raven is not only a good friend but also a really smart ally to Hino. She is someone who knows a lot of things and have much knowledge which helps the mc a lot. And the way she gives information to the mc is done so gracefully, without giving a lot of hint. She also has a great chemistry with the male mc, which make her more likeable. I also like the fact that she always do things in a calm and rational matter.
ch 0 7 Viral discovery
CHECKMATE!
Urban · Reya_no_sekai