DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Hmm, Personally, I think this may have been cooler if you showed that she was attractive, 2nd best detective and tries to overtake Fuhira

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Horizon Academy

Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Hmmm, interesting. Dota currently seems like Griffith/ Killua

'Shouldn't someone call the ambulance for these guys?' Yashiro said, and Rando reached into his pocket, got out his phone and began calling the emergency services.

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Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Some caps missing in the next few lines of dialogue

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Horizon Academy

Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Caps on This and the next two lines

'We don't usually use our powers on regular humans, but guys like that really get to Yashiro and I'

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Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Its cool how the story naturally unfolded to let us see what Yashiro was working on. It flowed well

'Yashiro you're not injured' the smile on his face got even wider and he punched Yashiro's arm. Yashiro laughed and scratched the back of his head, slightly embarrassed.

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Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

W Rando!!

'GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!' he yelled, as he punched the thug so hard in the jaw that it became unhinged.

Horizon Academy

Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

A few more Capital letters

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Horizon Academy

Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Capital letter and question mark :)

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Horizon Academy

Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

This reminds me of Dark souls and the 'age of fire' after Gwyn defeated the dragons

This brought about the "Golden Age" of heroes. A period were cities were much safer and crime rates were at an all time low because of the presence of "super heroes" keeping watch over their cities. However, some of the non-powered humans, or "regulars" as they were often called began to get angry. Some were jealous they weren't "blessed" with powers, while others weren't happy at the fact that these so called heroes were being praised and hailed like they were gods.

Horizon Academy

Fantasy · FlamingAcee

DaoistXM2SMd

8mth

Commented

Fire

At Minagawa, there was a collosal crater left at the site where the meteor had landed. To the villagers there, it served as a constant reminder of the disaster that happened there that day.