Webnovel Author: Hemingways12gauge - Novel Collection

The description is good and the inciting incident kicks us right into the story with the sight of the ship flaking off parts of its hull as it flys and flees from a threat we have yet to see only for us to come to an eerie halt as we look at our protagonist Fredrick having a flashback to the moments before in a horrifying memory of the past. Though I do have to say that if this is a PTSD moment I don't think he'd be able to have a conversation with himself and the scene may have more of an impact if you removed the dialogue all together since we have to infer what's going on though body language and context clues. This way it becomes that much more visceral and more realistic when dealing with a PTSD flashback like as someone whose suffered with PTSD you are forced against your will to live through that moment of trauma through your own eyes. Beyond that the style is impeccable and very well honed and I think you can sharpen that edge even further by keeping in mind to remove words you don't need to help the sentence flow. I've always preached that if the sentence works without that word then you don't need it.