samanantha - Profile

"I think I fucked up," I whisper. "I don't— I realize you were right. I don't know you like I thought I did, I just—"

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Urban · fastmelodic

"But you meant to hurt me?"

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Urban · fastmelodic

He clasps my wrists in one hand while the other inspects the side of my face. He kisses my cheek before running his thumb alongside it. He whispers into my ear, "I swear, it will never happen again. I'm sorry, Ali. Please. Let me fix this. Your cheek looks swollen."

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Urban · fastmelodic

"I didn't want you to get hurt, you were about to walk out the door."

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Urban · fastmelodic

He bends down, looking into my eyes and I avert his gaze. He nudges my chin until I meet it before he apologizes, "I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry, baby. Get up. Please get up off the floor."

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Urban · fastmelodic

I just can't believe he did that. How fucking dare he?!

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Urban · fastmelodic

As soon as my hand reaches out to grab the doorknob, he seizes me by the arm, yanks me back, and against the wall. The side of my head hits the plaster and I gasp upon the contact.

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Urban · fastmelodic

I lick my lips, asking, "Didn't you miss me? It's been two months since you last saw me. I missed you every single day."

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Urban · fastmelodic

Josh twists around, mouth gaping, a handgun now pointed at me. The sound of the safety going off makes my heart stop.

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Urban · fastmelodic

He kept me safe from everyone else, everyone but him.

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Urban · fastmelodic

I couldn't stop sobbing because inside, somewhere deep down, I still wanted him. Every time he'd play this game of cat and mouse, where he'd throw me against the balcony or slam my face into a wall one second but then come back and kiss me and tell me he was sorry and that he loved me. Every time he did this, I found myself catching glimpses of his old self amid the apologies and rare moments of vulnerability and my heart would unfreeze, thaw at the display of his sentimentality. I'd find myself feeling hopeful that he could revert back. That all the times he'd gotten violent with me were really just freakish accidents when they weren't.

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Urban · fastmelodic

I wondered how he could operate in such a bipolar manner, but I internally kick myself over the thought because I knew what I was getting into, I knew how he was. He'd been hot and cold about us since that very first kiss we shared. He'd shown me that night on the couch in my parents' basement. We'd had some pretty good years after we decided to make it official, sure, but those were long gone.

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Urban · fastmelodic

Josh closes his lips on mine and my head gradually meets the back of the headboard as his fingers come up to grasp my chin. He pulls back for a moment before murmuring, "I love you, Alisha. I know I've been a real dick in showing you lately, but I do. Just please know that." He fuses our lips together again, drawing back to add, "This whole thing with Harvey's just reminded me how I need to keep you safe. Emma and Max too. You three are everything to me." He comes back for a third kiss and then again pulls away to say, "I'm sorry if I take it out on you, I'm sorry for hurting you. I'll try to be better, okay? I still love you as much, if not more than when we first started dating. I love you."

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Urban · fastmelodic

I nod, slightly surprised he was even bothering to voluntarily supply that little bit of information.

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Urban · fastmelodic

didn’t i say how bad i feel?

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Urban · fastmelodic

didn’t i say how bad i feel?

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Urban · fastmelodic