Krayveneer - Profile

I'm rather new to this platform, but, from what I've noticed, this story is the better one compared to some of the more... normal ones here. However, I have some... misgivings. I'm not an experienced reviewer or something, but bear with me. First, I'd like to talk about the concept and premise. It's one of the more unique ones, but, unfortunately, it's mired with... a case of too much too soon, shall we say. I know there must have been an overarching storyline, but the trip there is a little messy so far. I can barely keep up with everything that is happening. It could be better if it's a little bit slower on the pacing. If you want to keep doing this, I suggest exploring the effect of one pantheon's apocalypse interfering with another pantheon's own apocalypse. The godly worlds are supposed to be separate, but Percy's actions for each pantheons should have a more far-reaching consequences on inter-pantheon relationship. On that point of pacing, the second misgiving I have is the book arcs. I know the point of fanfiction is to bring something new to an already great story for personal enjoyment, but I think the way you portray the story could be improved. So far, I can only see this story as all of the separate Riordan pantheon arcs starting at the very same time due to the time travel and Percy having to deal with all of it either by accident or on purpose. You try to mesh it well enough, and in some parts it works, but in another it clashes and disturb the pacing. Case in point, I noticed that the Magnus arc is longer than the rest with quite a few of the scenes being focused with Magnus. At the same time, you have the opportunity to do the same with the Kane arc but chose not to, breaking some of the immersion in the middle. Third, the structure is somewhat worse down the line. It's not quite noticeable, but I'm having a difficult time reading the Magnus arc due to a few of the dialogues having an uncertain speaker and the often-skipped sign language due to my eyes being trained on that quotation marks to note a dialogue (which are missing).Fourth, which I think I am not qualified to comment but shall do anyway, is the characterization of Percy and his interaction with the world. I am not touching the 'free from Fate' thing because, frankly, I think you have a purpose for including that but continues with the prophecies (interference from an outer god maybe?). To be honest, I just can't connect with this Percy. That's my opinion. This Percy is... too all over the place especially in the newer chapters. Sometimes he's cocky, arrogant, and powerful. Sometimes he's meek, reactive, and unsure. That's all well and good, but only in the right moment. A good example is the Despina arc, despite it being overshadowed by Artemis' rescue mission. I love the start of that book until the end of the Artemis rescue because it fits with Percy's characterization well (Love that punch at Demeter and the subsequent curse replacing Ares' martial curse). It would be better to just focus that whole book at Despina and not the Artemis rescue, because it also goes well with the very first chapter where Percy wanted to save people and Chaos wanted to mend the bond of family (so far, except for the first book, I rarely see the development of that Chaos mission). After that, the Percy in the Magnus arc feels a little bit scatter-brained and all over the place. It feels like you're trying to showcase Percy's power in a way that almost always detracts other characters' struggle and skills (which I notice is a theme from the beginning but felt stronger after the Despina arc). It doesn't feel it fits well with the arc and characters.Still, overall, it is a lovely story compared to all other stories of the same fandom in this platform (ones that are not a copy from other platforms). It is unique in and on itself. Still, I take my leave here after the Magnus arc. I have enjoyed the story very much, but I cannot see this story in my future. Thank you very much for your hard work. Keep up the good work. Good luck.