Luis_Luiz - Profile

It's Darcy Lewis , not Daisy

I forgot to write this: their way of speaking seems overly formal.

This chapter is full of errors, you keep writing all the dialogue in the first person as if Clark were speaking, but it's the other characters . You're also going overboard with using the characters' personal names in every sentence of the same conversation.

Before he didn't seem so dense, just resigned to the fact that this aura made no one like him in a romantic way and distrust him from the start before they even got to know him properly . Was this dense manner because he had spent so many years looking for someone who truly loved him and being repeatedly rejected ?

I really hate current comics, they are so ridiculous, this incessant search for the "ideals" of superheroes, they force the rest of the people to follow them, while they themselves never follow these so-called fake "ideals", they keep fraternizing Happily or dating murderous supervillains and criminals and then saying that, "deep down", they are good, the disgusting way in which Superheroes use the judicial system as a moral shield while considering themselves above the law they supposedly claim to defend ! It's all so ridiculous and absurd that I just can't suspend my disbelief anymore! Everything works for narrative purposes, it's all for fun, but I really can't do it anymore, I'm rooting against Dominic Toretto, John Wick, Harley Quinn, etc. They're all just bad guys, but anyone who goes against them is the "bad guy"!? And this also happens with the "heroes" of history, especially from DC and Marvel! Anyone who does not blindly follow HIS ideals and obey HIS every command without any hesitation is a dangerous person, a potential supervillain and has "too much power" to be left free!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?!?!? And the narrative of the comics really makes it seem like the "HEROES" are right??????? Are you going to address this in this fic? And will Zane really just forgive them without any punishment for trying to arrest him simply because they feel better with him in prison?

Okay... but what was he being accused of? Is this one of those comic book cases where the law is completely and "legally" disrespected by the Government itself?

He didn't even kill Amanda Waller that other idiot politician, I'm not asking why the other idiot superheroes distrust him just because of this ridiculous rule about don't kill this, don't kill that, if he kills him you'll be like him, what am I asking is why the President of the United States decided to declare Raiden a criminal ?

Until now I still don't understand why Raiden became a wanted criminal, besides breaking into the White House, all he did was expose the man to that other guy the s*** politician who invoked Rrigon. In the real world, breaking into the White House would make you a criminal, but the nonsense that Superheroes routinely do in the DC universe far outweighs that. I just don't understand how they declared him a fugitive, they just got angry and said "why not?" like in practically all American Comics or do they have some real accusation behind them?

Honestly, Clark and Lex's character development always seemed pretty ridiculous to me in Smallville! The series managed to make several character reformulations, giving the Green Acher a more serious and realistic personality, as well as several other heroes such as Black Canary, Cyborg , Martian Manhunter, but I was very forced to make Clark become the exaggeratedly all-loving hero cool as in the comics and Lex's development into a crazy, omnicidal supervillain seemed over the top and totally avoidable by anyone with common sense, while also "rescuing" genuinely evil people like Tess, the Kandorians, EVEN LIONEL , and various others over time! A particularly ridiculous fact about Smallville was that the reason Lex , when he was still a nice guy, became a person untrustworthy and untrust worthy in everyone's eyes was that he became ... A HEDONIST !?!?!?! Seriously , he started trying to overcome his personal tragedies by indulging in a partying and womanizing lifestyle and THAT made people treat him like dirt ! They had done a lot of bad things before , but did THAT make people lose trust in him ? Ridiculous !

This "thank" doesn't seem out of place, it's easy to forget that the main characters are still teenagers! Will this be addressed later on or will Clark be a womanizing scoundrel?

That didn't make any sense ! Pete would never stop going to save Chloe to go to a show ! You should really rewrite this chapter , that alone made this story decline in quality !!! Chloe and Lana leaving Clark behind also seems ridiculous , the show always had Clark conveniently face the villain of the week while he was alone in a secluded location , or Clark would run away and face him , but he would be left behind to face that villain Face-to-face with everyone agreeing doesn't fit either , without mentioning that they immediately came back as soon as the villain was defeated without alerting anyone ! One more thing: The "new" Clark is , supposedly , a person from the "real" world , why doesn't he think about looking for some more mundane solutions to certain problems ? He could have called the police on the way , why didn't he do that ? And why didn't he use super speed to go back all the way ? Clark's secret isn't more important than Chloe's life ! Honestly , this chapter seemed really poorly thought out! And last but not least : The Harem seems a bit forced , but then again , that seemed almost implicit about Clark's relationships with almost every prominent woman in Smallville , but are you really going to make this Clark stick with ALL the beautiful women on the show ? It's one thing to want more than one girl , this actually happens in real life , it's a very different thing to want ALL of them !

You should continue, this story is really very good , I really liked the fact that the protagonist is not one of those ridiculous weaklings who do the will of Marvel characters simply because he read their stories , I also liked the fact that this story shows how Marvel characters they seem to really want that whenever their will is done and THEIR ideals are followed to the point of forcing the rest of the world to follow them and then they play "Victims of Circumstances" , I also liked the fact that the MC does not refrain from using force lethal when provoked !

I think the dialogues and internal narrations are being exaggeratedly detailed between them , the conversations are being detailed as if they were blatantly explaining everything to the reader , but normal people don't talk like that . But other than that , this story is very well written ! One more thing : "Clak" is in the name of the story instead of Clark .

How about a classic "None of Your Business"? Seriously, why is the main character being so submissive and polite while they attack him, knock him out, steal his DNA, try to steal the Omnitrix and are completely suspicious and abrasive towards him? I know this can be stressful, but they seem to be taking it out on him and he is simply accepting it all as if he deserves it! I would understand if he just understood that they weren't going to instantly trust him as shown in several films, but now it seems like he's accepting being a doormat!

"Normal" Sunspot or overpower Sunspot ? In the comics , his powers evolved to give him titanic doses of raw physical power , and he could even fight hand-to-hand with the Gladiator ( Kallark ) .

This negotiation absolutely made no sense ! Was it a writing error ?

Have you never seen the ads for other fanfics? they serve to show how it is the progress of the story also allows the author to talk to readers and ask what they think of the story instead of those footnotes at the beginning and end of the chapter . If you inform what the update days will be, readers will see the chapter update and they will already know that it is an announcement so they will not be irritated (at least not too much).