OverthinkingDragon - Profile

The novel is worth reading, but the chapters are chaotic from chapter 58 to the last chapter, so I dropped out Twenty days without fixing the problems is intolerable negligence

How do you explain the increase in rank with experience? How will he explain to Elsa her rank being increased for no reason? How do you explain the increase in ranks according to the rules of the novel's world? There is never a logical explanation, so it often ruins the novel unless it's a game novel. I know that the mere existence of a system is cheating, but even cheating requires some logic, otherwise, it would be better to make his rank legendary and end the novel. You can exchange experience points for a measure of the amount of mana or other energy required to break through. Note: A good system does not increase power directly, but rather limits its function to rewarding skills, techniques, and information after completing tasks, such as killing 200 monsters. You say that experience points make climbing higher ranks more difficult, I'm telling you, on the contrary, they make it absurdly easier. Others suffer for years while all they have to do is complete a mission. Penetration requires energy, whether it is mana, chi, or spirit energy, and it is available in the world. It does not require a system to absorb it into your body. Therefore, it is better to give him a unique absorption technique, of course and put restrictions on it so as not to make him the strongest in days while others are in decades. For example, it makes him absorb the essence of monster mana for half the time of other people. Of course, there is a limitation in that it is often filled with impurities from the aura of the killed monster, so it cannot continue absorbing it forever. As for sharing mana, I think the matter is simple. Give him another technique that enables him to transfer mana free of any impurities to anyone who has set a logical restriction for it. There are other ideas, but I'm lazy (: Think for yourself I hope you think about the Cultivation systems of the novel world and explain them better. In the end, this is your story and you are free. I just wanted to let you know that you do not need to listen to me. Perhaps others might like what you write (: Sorry for the messy thoughts, I was too lazy to organize them

Increasing power with experience points spoils realism. You could have given him the ability to absorb the essence or core of monsters faster than other magicians, and also given him the ability to share a small part of it to anyone. Hurry to edit the chapters before you spoil your novel again. Also, before confessing to his sister that he is not her brother is stupidity. I know you want to be different, but not every difference is good. The realism of the world of the novel according to its rules is of course important, so do not destroy it stupidly. There are no brothers without problems, and it was clear that she had previously loved him, so it was wrong for her to tell her that he had died. It's a magical world. What if they think you're a demon or a powerful person who captured their brother? It's also a powerful family. What if the goal of the person who captured their brother was to destroy them?? You could have said that he had a nightmare or hoped for his future and decided to change after knowing that his jealousy of her would not get him anywhere You could have created a moral crisis in the future that might last for several chapters while he was thinking about the most appropriate path: whether to admit that he is not the owner of the body or to accept that he is him now. Sorry if you find any mistakes, English is not my language, but I hope you get the point