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The System: Civilian Shinobi
4.38 (282 Avaliações)
Sinopse
The fate of elemental nations was controlled by a weird character named Zetsu. From Madara to Obito to pain, everything happened according to the plans of Zetsu. What would happen if an ordinary kid from a civilian family got a surprise morning message.
[Good Morning Tobi!]
[Welcome to the System!]
...
AN- the first 7 chaps contain a lot of stats but I changed the writing style so you won't see much of them in the upcoming chapter so if you are put off by it...continue reading a few more chaps to give it another chance
I know there may be some plot holes and spelling mistakes, but this is my first time writing so cut me some slack and support me...
The first mission starts in chapter 20...
If you want to read ahead or support me head to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DaoistWu_007
Currently 23 chapters ahead and +1 or 2 chapter ahead per day!
Alse if you wanna chat Join us on Discord!
https://discord.gg/7VHcwnAwaN
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4.38
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Since you ain't reading comments let me tell you some facts Okay, I can understand that your MC has flaw and seem beta and all even that he's loyal to konoha and spread his ass for them but get you facts straight KONOHA IS NOT A MILITARY DICTATORSHIP! Where the **** did you get the impression? Danzo is a dictator Konoha have a military system but no it's not a dictatorship, Ninjas are free to refuse mission they do not wish to do but it's not shown because the missions are given depending on the ninja and knowing that said ninja will accept, did you even watch the show ? Hashirama wanted peace and created the village for such purpose Now the hokage is the leading figure but it does not mean that you have to follow his order to the letter it's not ROOT! The hokage gives his missions depending on the ninja which is why most don't refuse because he know that they are willing to do as said It's a Shinobi system that ressemble a lot Military system but it certainly is not a dictatorship so stop writing as if it's one I don't care about him being a wimp and being loyal doing everything told if that's his character but don't go on changing the background of the village to something it's not!
A solid 3 stars I dont like the forced comedic relief between the MC and the system and I also don't like the MC himself, or rather how he is written with the self-talking and the stupid (I know, he is a kid and all, but only stupid kids keep repeating the same mistakes over and over) things he does like the pranks on his family and the stupid lack of awareness he has. Now, enough of the stupid. I also really dislike that the system, and I dont mean the stupid character the author introduced as the system, but rather the real system, has become more or less irrelevant to the story. Yes, there are still levels, there is still the shop and everything: But! Has the Inventory ever been explained or made use of in the story? No Have the stat points been distributed or was it mentioned how the stats even work? Not really. Two small instances of "all to 50. And the rest to dex or agi" The levels are redundant, because we already know the ranks and they are enough to gauge someones prowess. Basically, the only reason the system even exists is to provide a crutch to the author (fucking systems with personalities, I hate them when they are not well done or integral to the story), and as an explanation for the MCs quick growth in power, including acquiring bloodlines. The quests? Irrelevant and redundant, since there are already village missions and the other missions were unnecessary. The stats? Who cares. Point already made Skills? You already got the point, although there was an attempt to make the system useful story-wise with the skills Now, I realize this was a rant, but I wanted to write this. This story started as a System story, but quickly turned into a story where the system has no place apart from annoying readers like me. And screw the aux chapter for the stats, that shit is hella annoying to look at every single chapter, not that that would make sense, since it *should be* kept up to date, so you won't even notice its existence unless you are waiting for new chaps.
plot makes no sense it... it just stupid and mc is a spineless retarded version of Itachi so that is another stain this novel brings along with the story of how he got the system and his own progress in the story
It's not for me since I don't really like submissive, kinda retard and pushover Mc's. I don't know if you would like it but I warn you that It goes downhill pretty bad. Don't get attached to it, you will be massively dissapointed.
Mc is a dormant slave.... A dummy with op system but never use it correctly...... I am sick of this story................................................................................
This used to be an intersting fiction to read. This changed when the main character lost his backbone and became a glorified doormat. The continueous self sacrificing, obedient behaviour of the main character that comes into existence after a good amount of chapters has butchered my interest in this fiction. The author attempts to justify this behaviour by saying konoha is a militaristic village and he is but a civilian shinobi and thus must follow orders. Whether you agree with this or not I do believe many can agree this is not enjoyable to read about. Honestly the first part of the story and the second part are so polarising to one another it feels like both parts were written by different people. The first part by someone with a backbone and the second part by a glorified doormat. The most ridiculous part is he often volunteers for things that negatively effect him, and when he is about to be compensated or rewarded for his sacrifice he says payment or rewards are not required. This fiction should no longer be in the top 200 fanfictions let alone the 2nd place.
honestly, this is just your run of the mill naruto fanfic. the system is absolutely broken and allows the MC to transcend all sensible boundaries. if you enjoy that type of thing, that this is your story. however, if you're looking for a good read where stuff makes sense, then I'd recommend looking elsewhere.
A full 5 stars from me for a starter. It's always nice to see a light-hearted proper shounen style NARUTO fanfic. especially when the MC is quite humorous himself. will be seeing how you make him progress in his ninja days and love life. I hope you don't pull the trauma trump crap and ruins the light-hearted mood. Thank you for this fanfic. P.S. don't forget to update your auxiliary chapters, especially the skill part.
The MC is another itachi who is idiotically loyal to the village (although itachi has a stronger reason). Especially after what a village elder supposedly did to him. I just don't like that passive, pathetic MC who lets others control his life to any extent, following orders because he feels loyalty to the village is fine to a degree. , loyalty goes both ways. He has already been betrayed by the people (Yes, Danzo says since he is protected by the people). 1 star in Story Development and Character Design
it doesn't feel like ninja. who heals enemies. he didn' t even have guts to tell ino to shutup. and the whole ninja thing going on I dunno he Will be ever a ninja. it's like little boys playing ninja. he should be dead by invasion.
I couldnt read anymore after the part where hes forced into the marrage i just dont like submissive mc who essentially get forced around I also hate the fact that he is a full blow simp for Konoha
Its good and all, until the chunin exam comes(well not that good, cuz i drop this like 2times before making it to the chinin exam part) . Mc become a show off that its annoying. It ok to show off but not in every chance you got. And it becomes annoying every chapter. Althought the writing quality is good(atleast in this site) but... Rating 5-5-2-2-1
one month ago I would've given this a 5 star.. But now I had to quit reading. Stupidity of MC is a huge turn-off. No sense of self-respect or safety precautions at all..
Wind and Earth is Crystal release (remember Guren.?). And Lightning and Wind is Magnet release. This is from canon. People make mistake with Swift release, but there is no kekkie genkai called Swift release in the canon. These are some of the things you can only know if you've watched all the filler episodes. And this author clearly didn't. I just can't read it further. I mean, if you make a fanfic about something, at least have a clear understanding about the canon first
it went from great to being absolute trash. probably the biggest waste of my time ever. I don't think the author can ascribe challenges unto the MC without making him look ret*rded. he's also konoha's b*tch and takes it in the ass regularly from from danzo and others
damn its good one of the best and it does not end in like 100 chaps or something if author does not drop it ,could go on for couple hundred chaps easily.the reason i am giving one star review is because the author making the mc look like an idiot is pissing me off i suppose its revenge. at the pace things are going i think danzo will die early and if it happens i might give five star(maybe). all in all a good fanfic i like it
Average realy average story. Don't get why it so high in power ranking. Probably because others not writing right now... And to tell the truth it's kind of boring for me already at chapter 19 so i probably read farther when i have nothing to read only.
Chato chato chato mc stupido mc infantil mc sem carisma mc sem interacao nao ha outros personagens interesantes mc chato mc chayo a escrito ate que tava boa zinha mas
It's an interesting and engaging read, but only until chapter 74, where the protagonist of this fan fiction is nerfed into the dust. Since chapter 76 (et seqq.) he is suffering from a very pesky disease of foolish behavior and stupidness. It makes you feel miserable as previously you started to relate with this novel's main cast as a snarky and smart individual with a rakish appearance stemming from a civilian household maneuvering the pitfalls of shinobi-hood. Though that is all in the past, what remains is a drone doing every one else's work with absolutely no personality. not recommend to read this, utter waste of time. Good example of what not to do when writing (fan) fiction. (TLDR) Mc has strong abilities but wields them horribly because the author nerfed his ability to sensibly reason or think. Sadly the protagonist isn't the only one suffering from this.
Revelar Spoiler
As an author, it is my solemn duty to rate my novel as 5 stars...Do give it a read in your free time. I am probably not gonna copy canon except for the important arcs... I am trying to improve my writing skills and I hope you guys stick around... I'll end this as I always end my Author Notes!! Peace!!