Tell me the funniest joke and short story you know from 'funny jokes and short stories'.
Joke: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Short story: A group of birds were flying south for the winter. One little bird got left behind. He was scared but he kept flying. Eventually, he caught up with the others and they all reached their winter destination safely.
Joke: What's brown and sticky? A stick. Short story: A cat was chasing a mouse. The mouse ran into a hole. The cat waited outside for hours. Finally, the mouse peeked out and said, 'Are you still there?' The cat replied, 'Yes, I'm a very patient hunter.'
Joke: I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands. This joke plays on the double meaning of 'by ear'. It's a simple yet funny joke. Short story: There was a girl who always dreamed of having a magic wand. One day, she found a stick in the forest. She pretended it was a magic wand and started casting spells. Even though it didn't really work, she had a lot of fun.
Funny gay jokes story: Can you tell me a short and funny gay joke story?
Well, there were two gay guys who adopted a cat. They named it 'Glamour Puss'. Whenever they had guests over, the cat would strut around like it owned the place, just like them. It was a running joke among their friends that the cat was the third member of their fabulous trio.
What are the funniest English joke short stories you know?
There's this joke. A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum. Doctor says, 'I've got some cream for that.' It's a simple yet funny play on words with 'cream' being a solution for a strange situation.
Tell me a short funny joke story.
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
Tell me the funniest nascar joke you know.
This one is really funny. What did the nascar driver say to his car? 'You're my ride or die... literally!'
Tell me short gardening jokes and funny stories
Joke: What's a gardener's favorite kind of coffee? Soil - brew. (A play on 'slow - brew')
Tell me some of the funniest retirement short stories you know.
There was a retiree who bought a boat. He had dreamed of sailing in his retirement. But the first time he took it out, he got lost and ended up docking at someone's private pier. The owner came out and was about to be angry, but the retiree said, 'I'm just retired and a bit confused. I thought this was the new public marina.' The owner ended up inviting him in for tea and they became friends.
Tell me a short and funny joke story, please.
A snail got mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said, 'I don't know. It all happened so fast.'
Can you share the funniest bar short story you know from the funny bar short stories?
Sure. There was a bar where they had a karaoke night. This one guy got up to sing. He was so drunk that he thought the microphone was a bottle of beer and he kept trying to take a swig from it. The whole bar was in stitches.
Tell me some clean short funny joke stories.
A guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, 'You need to stop masturbating.' The guy asks, 'Why?'. The doctor replies, 'Because I'm trying to examine you!' This is a bit of a silly and clean joke.
Tell me some funny Christmas jokes short stories.
Another story: The Christmas tree was feeling lonely. It said to the star on top, 'You're so lucky, you get to be at the highest point and shine.' The star replied, 'But you get to hold all the presents and ornaments. I'm just here for decoration.' It shows a cute conversation between two Christmas elements, creating a light - hearted and funny short story.