The doctor told me I had a broken finger. I asked which one, and he said 'the one you're not pointing at'. This is humorous because of the unexpected response from the doctor. Usually, we expect a more straightforward answer like 'your left index finger' or something, but instead, he gives a rather comical answer.
Sure. Here is one: My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
I found a diary in the basement. The last entry said 'They're coming for me tonight' and the date was yesterday.
A: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. B: She looked surprised.
The mirror showed my reflection smiling. I wasn't smiling.
He sat alone in the old house, surrounded by memories of his family. Now they were all gone, and the silence was deafening, crushing his spirit bit by bit.
I woke up in the middle of the night. My teddy bear was sitting at the edge of my bed smiling at me.
A cat walked into a bar. The barman said, 'We don't serve cats.' The cat said, 'I'm not here for a drink, I'm here to use the Wi - Fi.'
I woke up to find a handprint on my window. It was on the inside.
The other day I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. This is funny because when you say someone is drawing their eyebrows too high, the visual image of them looking perpetually surprised is quite comical. Also, the simplicity of the statement and the quick reaction it implies from the wife add to the humor.
I was home alone when the doorknob started turning on its own. No one should be there.