best ur mom jokes

"Hätten wir doch nur früher gemerkt, was da passiert..." "Wenn wir nur stärker wären..." "Dann wäre das alles nicht passiert." Bedauern. Valyr empfand großes Bedauern, als er sah, wie die Welt vor ihm ins Nichts zerfiel... Nur weil sie die letzte Schlacht verloren hatten. Obwohl er das Ergebnis bereits akzeptiert hatte, fühlte er, dass es falsch war. Er klammerte sich an seinen letzten Hoffnungsschimmer und beschloss, in seinem letzten Moment dem Himmel zu wünschen, dass er eine zweite Chance bekommen würde. Eine zweite Chance, bei der er dafür sorgen würde, dass ihre Seite gewinnen würde, wenn alles so ausgehen würde wie bisher. Zum Glück für ihn... Der Himmel hat zugehört. Wiedergeboren in dem Spiel, in dem alles begann und alles endete, wurde Valyr schnell klar, dass er nicht als Spieler wiedergeboren worden war. Stattdessen war er nun ein NSC. Ein NSC des Spiels namens Greater Beyond. Zunächst verwirrt, begann Valyr sich allmählich an seine neuen Umstände zu gewöhnen und beschloss, den Weg des Schmiedens, den er in seinem vorherigen Leben gewählt hatte, weiterzuverfolgen und ihn zu nutzen, um größere Höhen zu erreichen. Dabei würde er dafür sorgen, dass sie alle für die letzte Schlacht gerüstet waren. Werden Sie Zeuge von Valyrs Reise zum Gipfel, wo er schließlich zum... Der Ur-Gottesschmied des Größeren Jenseits. ---------- Zusätzliche Kapitelziele: Erreiche die Top 100 in der wöchentlichen PS-Rangliste - 1 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 80 in der wöchentlichen PS-Rangliste - 2 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 50 in der wöchentlichen PS-Rangliste - 3 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 100 in der monatlichen GT-Rangliste - 1 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 80 in der monatlichen GT-Rangliste - 2 Bonuskapitel Erreichen der Top 50 in der monatlichen GT-Rangliste - 3 Bonuskapitel Schenke dem Roman ein Schloss - 2 Bonuskapitel ---------- Gewöhnliche Kapitelveröffentlichungsrate: 2/Tag (ohne Bonuskapitel) Du kannst gerne dem Discord beitreten: https://discord.gg/FU7fdYwaau

Der unfruchtbare Kontinent, wo die Kampfkünste an erster Stelle stehen und die Stärke über alles geehrt wird. Das einmalige Wunderkind Ye Chen brachte die uralte und unvergleichliche göttliche Technik hervor. Er kultivierte seine kämpferischen Adern, überlebte die Donnertrübsal, verschmolz mit dem Geisterblut wahrer Wesen und erschütterte die sechs Harmonien und die acht Verheerungen mit seinem kämpferischen Können. Er durchstreifte die unzähligen Reiche und Himmel und kämpfte in der ganzen Welt mit dem geheimen Reich von Milliarden von Sternen, die ewig und unsterblich sind! Eine endlose Fundgrube von Schätzen, Welten voller bizarrer Wunder, Sekten, alten Clans, Feen, Hexen, Freundschaften und Feindschaften und hitzigen Kämpfen - all das war darin enthalten.

Seven years ago, Eleanor Sterling was framed and humiliated by her treacherous sister, resulting in the birth of a child with an unknown father. Seven years later, she returns with her adorable child and numerous disguises to seek revenge and sweep away all wicked foes. However, she unexpectedly finds herself entangled with two persistent individuals. Little Sticky Bun: "Mommy, it's buy one, get one free!" Big Sticky Bun traps her in his embrace, gritting his teeth: "Hacked my account?" Eleanor Sterling: "Alaric, let me explain." The man then brings out the two children, "Stole my genes?" Eleanor grits her teeth; the man who ruined her reputation years ago was him? Alaric Faulkner carries her to bed, "One stolen, punished tenfold, give me another to compensate!"

Tragically betrayed by her father and stepsister, she was sent to an old and ugly man, never expecting to give birth to a pair of universally adored, high-appearance, high-intelligence, and high-emotional quotient "three-high" dragon and phoenix twins! Terrified that the old man would steal her children, she changed her name and went into hiding in Tibet. However, her adorable twins brought back a man of noble status for her. Seeing the man in front of her who looked exactly like her son, Silvia Yates was so shocked that she hadn't yet spoken when the man wrapped his arm around her waist......

"W-what are you doing?" Eli was shocked as she saw the handsome man, his upper body glistened in the morning light, drenched in sweat as he firmly held a massive axe. "Wife! Good morning! The wood is ready to keep you warm for the winter ahead!" The man proudly pointed towards the massive mountain of firewood he just finished chopping. “Heavens! Did you chop every tree in the whole forest?!” Eli felt her head ache. "We are still in the middle of spring!" -- She was a salary woman. For her, career was just the only way to survive in this cruel world. Being a housewife was far from reality as bills kept haunting her bank account. When she suffered a plane crash in one of her business trips, she dejectedly lamented not experiencing the simple joys women used to experience in her age. However, a young woman's soul came begging to her, to use her body in another world so that her unborn child could live. In exchange for continuing to live, the task was to give birth to the young woman's child and be the coolest mom evarrrrrr! --- A transmigration story. However, our protagonist Eli, has to transmigrate into a pregnant woman's body. Facing the woes of a pregnant single mother, while surviving in a world where magic and evil exist, will she even successfully go through motherhood as a single parent? ...or will she need to have a hubby by her side after all? -- This is my first work and only signed in webnovel. Please do not post it to other sites T_T thanks! -- Cover Art by talented Iris Enj Come give her some love in IG and FB @iris_enj (Iris Enj) Follow this auntie potato on instagram @randompotato21

Xu Wenping was forced into a blind date by his mother with a stunning CEO, Su Yurou, who was ten years older than him but still had a breathtaking figure and appearance. The two quickly fell in love, and everything seemed to be going well until they ended up in bed together. That was when Xu Wenping saw a photo of two women in Su Yurou's room—one was Su Yurou and the other was his ex-girlfriend from college! Xu Wenping asked, "Dear, who is this woman?" Su Yurou replied, "She is my daughter... oh wait, our daughter!" Xu Wenping was speechless. When the three of them met, Xu Wenping said with righteousness, "So what? You broke up with me, and now I'm marrying your mother. Why are you crying?"

For money, Jin Jumo "signed" herself to the business tycoon Rong Mochen, for a period of one year. Upon their first meeting, the man's voice was icy, "I like women who keep their place, understand?" "Yes." Jin Jumo nodded lightly. So, Jin Jumo always adhered to her place, tightly locking her heart away, never crossing the line. If there was anything in her relationship with Rong Mochen that Jin Jumo hadn't anticipated, it would be... --- "Mr. Rong, our contract expired a week ago." Jin Jumo lightly curved her lips, giving a smile that didn't reach her eyes as she looked at the man in front of her. "So?" "So, Mr. Rong, are you playing rogue now?" Jin Jumo gritted her teeth. "Hmm..." Rong Mochen frowned, leisurely raising his head to look at Jin Jumo, "Is my daughter behaving well in your belly?" "It's not even two months, how do you know it's definitely a daughter..." Wait... Jin Jumo's eyes widened in terror, she hadn't told him she was pregnant... Rumor had it, a car accident targeting Z City tycoon Rong Mochen resulted in the death of a seven-month-pregnant woman. Rumor had it, after the accident, the Rong Family's president underwent a drastic change, becoming ruthless and fierce from being coldly indifferent. Rumor had it, the person killed in the accident was the person closest to Rong Mochen's heart. --- Four years later. "Brother, do we really need to find a new boyfriend for Mommy?" The little bun bit his chubby fingers, looking at the little boy beside him who was slightly taller. "Yes." The boy squinted, his gaze coldly fixed on the televised global sensation of the Rong Family's president's luxurious engagement ceremony. "But didn't Brother say that the old man named Rong is our real dad?" Jin Jumo, who had just stepped into the house, was nearly collapsing inside. How did the two little guys know Rong Mochen was...

"Get up!" A cold voice rang in Chuck Cannon's ears. The next second, the quilt on him was completely lifted. Chuck rubbed his eyes and looked at the woman. He sighed and felt a little uncomfortable. The beautiful woman in front of him was Yvette Jordan, who was four or five years older than Chuck. She was adopted by Chuck's grandfather and was groomed to be his bride since young. But since his grandfather's death, her attitude towards Chuck had become more and more terrible. "You useless piece of trash, your face even pisses me off!" Yvette's beautiful face was full of disgust. “...” Chuck frowned and tried not to take Yvette's words to heart. "Let me tell you, I have done my best to support you. If you don't behave yourself, I will chase you out of this house."

After the Gaokao ended, Lin Feng started working at a bar to earn tuition. Unexpectedly, he encountered a beautiful woman who was drowning her sorrows, insisting that Lin Feng drink with her. Both got drunk as skunks, unconscious. When Lin Feng woke up, the beautiful woman had already left, and the previous night seemed like a dream. Two years later, during the first semester of his sophomore year, a beautiful tutor suddenly joined his class. Lin Feng: Hm? This beautiful lady, why does she look a bit familiar? Zhang Yuxi: Lin Feng, do you still remember that night two years ago? Lin Feng: ??? When Lin Feng saw the four adorably clueless babies in Zhang Yuxi's home, he knew he couldn’t run away anymore…

Blurp: What kind of husband punishes his wife by spanking her ass? An insane and sadistic husband! "How long are you going to punish me?!" "I'm done with your punishment a while ago." Qiao Anxia jerked in a fury and immediately rose to her feet while tidying up her one-piece dress. Her hands touched her buttocks without realizing it, feeling the heat from the man's punishment. She didn't know if this burning feeling was from Richard's unpainful spanking or for another reason... How she wished she could kill this man! ~~~~~ One is a HERO, and the other is an ASSASSIN! The HERO tries to seduce his wife at every opportunity while the ASSASSIN wants to run away and if necessary… kill her husband to get all his fortune! Qiao Anxia is an assassin with a dark past. One day she plots her revenge by intending to ruin someone's marriage by sleeping with her husband. Lost the first night just for revenge, but... the one she slept with was her target's playful twin brother!?? Richard Calvin, a well-known man who is a hero for the victims of the injustice of the politicians, becomes Qiao Anxia's most priority target. After trying to forget the most memorable night with the beautiful girl who set him up, a lovely little girl came into his life and calls him... Papa!? What happens when these two contradictory natures get married only just because an inevitably cute and amusing genius baby girl wants to marry them off? And that baby girl was the result of their intercourse on that unforgettable, passionate hot night!