you momma so stupid jokes

Forced out by her step-mother, she was driven to desperation and had no way of surviving other than to sign herself away and marry herself into a rich and influential family. Three years into the marriage, her wealthy husband had spoiled her to heavens. The only problem was that they had no inheritors in their family. Inside the luxurious mansion, Pei Qiqi angrily threw a stack of newspaper onto the man, “The article is claiming that I am a hen who cannot lay eggs! But Tang Yu, it’s you who has issues!” The man put down the newspaper and agreed to what his young wife was saying, “Why would they write false information? Your zodiac is the pig!” “Tang! Yu!” She stomped her feet out of anger. The man grinned, “So what we have no kids? You are my little baby.” Pei Qiqi thought, how did this scene change so fast!

As childhood sweethearts, they were made to engage under the manipulations of their families. It involved having to to live in the same room and sleep together. One night, she is accidentally made drunk, and in his delirium, he kisses her only to realize he enjoys it. From time to time, he would sneak a kiss on her, but his “crime” is eventually discovered in an accident. After being accused by her, he says with a smile, “You are my wife, why can’t I kiss you?” The two people’s daily routine is full of bickering and mutual discrediting of each other. Although he claims to disparage, he actually cares intensely about her. He feels crazily jealous when she is close to other men, to the point of tying her to his side, so that she becomes exclusively his. Tags: Campus Love, Childhood Sweethearts, Pampering Romance

“Commander Lu, there are rumors that we are sleeping together, we have a fling!” He looked up from under the blanket and slowly got up. “What do you want from me?” “Deny it, say it’s fake, stop it from spreading…” He pushed her against the wall, blocking her mouth by a rough kiss. “Mrs. Lu, we have to substantiate the rumor.” Before she was born again, what she had been doing was staying away from him! After she was born again, what she always wanted to do was give him offsprings! Lu Xingzhi strived for two personal mottos his entire life: First, it was illegal to undermine military marriage. Two, Jiang Yao was his in this eternity, till death do they part.

"Uncle, I was punished for being late! " "Buy the school. " "Uncle, I was bullied! " "SEND THEM TO HEAVEN! " In this era of competing for fathers, Qin Sheng never competed for fathers. Those things were too extravagant. She didn't have them, she only competed for uncles! Ever since she had a rich uncle, she lived a life of fighting and being cleaned up by others, causing trouble and being scapegoated by others. Her three big goals in life were to make him fall in love with her, fall in love with her, fall in love with her!

On the day of her escape from prison, she had died unexpectedly and was reborn into the body of Madam Huo. He was the heir to the number one financial magnate. She had charged out of nowhere and from then on, the obedient and weak Madam Huo had started to awaken. She had been trampled under her feet. Huo Shao had expressed that since she had already been conquered, wouldn't it be too unfair for her if she did not give her body to him? The muzzle of the gun was aimed at her head, "I only lost my wife and did not divorce. Choose between loving me or dying for love. " Gu Ruochu,"..." Do I still have a choice?

"Give me a bunch of adorable players, and I can easily overturn a parallel world!" - so said Reveno·Murphy·Le Senbula Ps: The titles owned by the honorable Murphy include but are not limited to counterfeit vampire, celebrated NPC role-play artist, multi-talented Dog Planner, the only savior of Transylvania, benefactor of the old continent, defender of the new continent, brave and loyal earl, irredeemable big-sister fanatic, spotless saint of the Blood race, Alpha of the Night's Guard, and so on (here ignoring the other 108 nicknames). He's indeed the homebody of the Fourth Cataclysm and the best old friend when you need to clean up a mess, thus all testers of "Real Different World," please stand up when you see this line! Let us give Lord Murphy the highest respect! Murphy, ka-ka! Full marks!

Four years. That’s how long he took to transform from being a penniless young man to becoming the heir of a mysterious conglomerate. His return was a glorious event! Four years. That was the time she took to fall from being a rich heiress to an insignificant script writer in the entertainment industry. And she could even end up in jail! “Evelyn Sherman, if only you had loved me a little more than money then, you wouldn’t have to beg me now.” The man jeers coldly. Evelyn Sherman smiles cunningly. She pushes a little bun into his arms. The little bun hugs him and even gives him a big kiss, “President, do you want to buy my mommy? She can pretend to be a teenager or act like a queen. She can do both young, refreshing roles and the hard core stuff equally well. She’s a professional genius at giving birth. You can bring her home for US$10 million!” Chester Yale stares at the little face that looks exactly like his in a shock. He clenches his teeth and said, “Deal! I will add on another $10 million to buy you too!” In the next second, a little princess pokes her head out from behind the door, “Daddy, you’ll need another $10 million for me.”

It was supposed to be a perfect deal in which both parties got what they needed. However, after the child was born, he tore up the agreement with discontent and told her, “Who said that we'd only have one child? I want twins! Twin brother and sister! You’ll continue giving birth to more children until you bore me a pair of twins!” Luosang was beyond endurance. “Nian Junting, damn you…” she raised up against him, “Nian Junting, is this fair to the pure love in your heart?” Then, a marriage certificate was thrown at her. He landed on her, slowly curved his lips in a smile, saying, “Aren’t you my pure love?”

“Kat, you have a tail” said Lily “Look, Lily, it really isn’t that big of a concern” said Kat “You.Have.A.TAIL KAT” said Lily “How is this not a concern to you?” “Well, the dream I had was a bit weird as well, but if I’m honest, I’m mainly worried about the floating text that’s on fire” said Kat “THE What?” said Lily --------------------------------------------------- Join Kat on her dimension hopping adventures as she fullfills her demonic duty and answers the call of the summoner. Each week Kat will get involved with new strange situations and oppurtunites that await her. During the week she'll have her best friend Lily, and perhaps a little help from Sylvie to figure out what's she supposed to do with her life now that she's becoming a demon. Chapters releasing daily ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Artwork by CristianAC: https://www.deviantart.com/cristianac Story Discord: https://discord.gg/YzGgDHC

Soaking in lava, sleeping in an Ancient Killing Formation; Traversing alternative worlds in a heavy armored vehicle; Riding a Gundam Sentinel and slaying immortals with Godzilla... I got myself a stat system, and from then on, I only beefed up my defense! I just can't help it, I'm afraid of pain! The Daluo Golden Immortals of other worlds are all really fierce, and all of them know super ultimate move with infinite power. They have little meetings every day to discuss how to break through my defense. I really don't know why they're so obsessed...XD