Sean's Notebook: A Diary of a Murderer

LV 6

WidestGrin

This makes for a good story and I'd probably enjoy reading this even more when the MC grows up. Although the ages don't really match up with the writing, I is passable. It would have been better if the story started when the MC was about nine or ten as the introductory part of it would have become a much more immersive read. The plot is fine, for now at least. I would want some details about the things around him such as how his room is or whether the any of the 'mob' characters have any strange traits, for example: " The lady with an awful an amount of cats and dogs smelled a little funny to me. Was it the smell of vomit or urine? I was quite surprised she couldn't make out her own smell (or should I call it stink) with that large and crooked nose she had." Or some thing like this too: " Father was really strange today. Not just today, it seems that he has been like this for quite a while. His stern face looked particularity terrifying to me. I dared not avoid him either. It was a gut feeling. These few days were like treading on ice. One small mistake could potentially be a trigger to set him off." " It's quite exhausting. What is, you ask? Everything. Everything is exhausting. The house work, Eli, Mother's incessant crying, the stupid yowling of the next door neighbour's cats, the howling, the dirty stain that wouldn't come off my shoes, the crack on the ceiling, annoying classmates.... the list goes on. It would be nice if I could just bundle it all up and shove it in a box and lock it up and throw it in a sea and forget about it and then enjoy some peace and quiet all by myself. . . . The previous sentence had too many 'and's. ... I guess I got side tracked again.... Oh well." Author-tan, it's these small details that make the story all the more enjoyable. I do look forward to seeing this story grow. Thankyou.

LV 10

YangChen

For an original story this should rank in the top as it shows a new way of novel writing. The story is addictive, keeping people in suspense as to how the title of the novel will be exemplified in the story .....Really looking forward to the story ............................🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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