Chapter 4: Hostility of Everyone

After my first sleep without her showing up, It made me sad because that girl became the reason for the comfort I feel as I sleep. It made me realize the things that Augustine said to me.

(And a sudden flashback appeared in my mind wherein the exact words of Augustine were mentioned)

"Xavier, what you're feeling is just your sense of wanting affection. It's because of the situation that made you think your dream might be someone you know because you want to feel the warmth of her smile."

"That was quite a harsh realization I got," I said to myself with disappointment. That girl became my strength to fight this harsh reality wherein my family won't accept my existence. Her vibrant smile, her rosy cheeks, and even her beauty helped me in conquering all these hardships.

(A day without seeing her in my dreams is a torment for me)

I headed downstairs with a sad look on my face. Augustine noticed it and asked me what happened. I told him about the situation, and he laughed at me. He said to me in reply, "You really believed she existed. I told you that it's just your sense of wanting attention. Don't let it get to you, she is just a simple dream created by your mind to make you feel much better,"

"You may be right, but having to lose her so sudden even though she was just an illusion made to make me feel better is hard for me. That girl became a new foundation of my life. I could keep on living because of the warm, vibrant smile she is showing me." I answered him and was about to cry but stopped it.

"Don't worry bro, I'm always here to help you out. Don't think just because of the disappearance of an imaginary girl you have lost the will to live. I will always support you because not only we are friends, but I consider you as my family. And I will do everything for you to continue living," Augustine said to me and hugged me. However, I could not hide my tears.

"Thanks, Augustine, you know how to make me feel comfortable as always. Let's head out were going to be late for school," I answered to him with a sense of refreshment.

"Oh shocks, I forgot that we have school," Augustine answered while laughing hard.

As we hurry heading towards our school, I finally felt that her disappearance in my dreams helped me a lot to know the true foundation of my life. What urges me to live with the will to carry on.

"At last, we barely arrived at school that was quite exhausting," Augustine said while catching his breath.

"You fool, we were supposed to arrive early because of our class in PE," I replied as I grab his clothes and ran towards the gym for the lesson.

As we head to the gym, I can feel some people looking at me as if they are afraid of me. So I asked Augustine if he saw some people glaring at me. He said he doesn't see anyone so I wonder if it's just my imagination or some of them are glaring at me. The class started, but the feeling that someone is glaring at me still hasn't disappeared.

The class played dodge ball and as soon as it's the ball to hit our turn. They targeted all the balls at me as if they wanted to kill me. I noticed that some players look as if they have a grudge against me. But I don't remember having encountered them and even fought with them. So as soon as the class ended I talked to Augustine if he knew someone that might have a grudge against me and then he answered.

"I don't know anyone that might have a grudge against you, why do you ask?" He said to me.

"Didn't you notice that some of our classmates intended to hurt me excessively?" I answered while being wary of my surroundings because someone might attack me behind.

"Stop being paranoid, they just did that because our grades are at stake there. You're just imagining things," He replied.

"You know, maybe you are right about this thing. However, I need to be more anxious about my surroundings you'll never know when someone will suddenly attack me," I added while feeling a bit off because of the surrounding.

Inside the room, I can still feel the glances of some of my classmates. But I didn't give it much notice because I thought they were just tired. When the time for our dismissal came, Augustine asked me to have fun with him. But it's time for my first day at my job. So I said to him.

"Sorry bro, today is my first day at work and I need to arrive there early because the owner will still explain things to me," I said to him while he was fixing his things in his locker.

"Aww, sucks I wanted to go with you and have some fun. Well, just head home after your shifts let's just have a few drinks." He said to me as I was heading out of the school.

"That sounds good to me; I'll bring snacks later, see you later. Oh, I prefer beer if we're going to drink later," I chipped in with excitement.

"Alright, just come back home early, See yah." He responded.

So as soon as I left school, I hurriedly headed to my job and worked as soon as my boss explained to me what my work will be at the convenience store. As I started my shift, I have a feeling that someone is still watching me from afar. Why do I feel like someone is watching me, at first it was at the school, now here. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. This thought keeps on flowing in my head.

After my shift, I hurriedly headed home after buying snacks for me and Augustine to eat. As I walk towards the house with a few meters left, I sense that someone is following me. When I looked back, there was no one there, so I just kept on walking and ran behind a wall to see who the one is following me. And to my surprise, it was one of my classmates who I saw glaring at me in our PE class.

As I saw him leave, I felt relieved because I don't want to beat someone without proper reasoning. So I just left and continued walking until I reach Augustine's house. When I opened the gate, he was there waiting for me.

"What took you so long, come faster, I want to drink already!" He said to me as I enter the gate.

"Someone was following me, but don't worry, he wasn't able to follow me here," I answered him and then entered the house.

"Here's the snack, wait for me. I'll just shower a little," I added.

"Shower fast, I want to drink this beer already," Augustine said to me as I head upstairs.

As I take a shower in my room, I thought about my classmate who followed me. "It was my first encounter against him. What does he want from me?" I questioned myself because of what happened. I then left the room to head downstairs for the drink.

"What took you so long; I thought you just needed to shower?" Augustine asked me while I head towards the living room.

"I just had a little thinking about what happened before I arrive here," I replied, as I sat on the sofa.

"Oh, what happened before you got here? You said you saw one of our classmates following you, did you see the face?" He asked me with a deep feeling of curiosity.

"I think it's him, rather I know it's him, that guy. What was his name again? Aish I can't remember, but I am sure that it's him." I responded. And I thought what I said could relieve his curiosity.

"Let's think about that tomorrow, the bottle will not empty itself without us drinking it," I added.

(As soon as we finish all the bottles of beers in the fridge, we then head upstairs to have some rest)

"Goodnight Bro, we need to sleep early because we still have to attend school tomorrow," He added while he was drunk.

"Don't worry about me, worry about yourself I have a high alcohol tolerance you know," I answered him while he enters his room, drunk.

And then I soon entered my room and am getting ready to sleep. As I lie down on the bed. I waited for her appearance in my dreams, but even though I tried to remember her. She doesn't appear. "So it was just a short time or you could say like a free trial of happiness. I was stupid to even think that you might be real. This will be the last time I'll ever think of you," I said to myself as tears fell in my sleep.