Chapter 31: Slow-roast beef

Kaiden is naive enough to believe that he has time to look for a part-time job or develop a hobby.

Ever since he was discharged from the hospital, Heath calls for him almost every day to cook at the Lin Manor. With Uriel's absence, it's almost as if Kaiden never moved out in the first place.

At first, he wanted to protest. Why does he have to go when it isn't even Damon who summons him? But upon remembering that there are less than three months left before the one-year contract is over, he grits his teeth and drags his feet to the place. He doesn't have it in him to fight back to the Beta, his heart too soft against the sharp words.

Fortunately, the only thing Heath asks of him is to cook. He doesn't need to run around like he used to before, so it's not as exhausting. Preparing lunch and dinner might be easier if Heath doesn't insult and berate him every chance he gets, but Kaiden simply lets the words flow from one ear to another. It'll be easier for him if he pretends that the Beta is an irate parrot and not a human being.

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but as Heath's cruel criticisms pound his self-confidence to the floor, Kaiden reminds himself that the Beta is nothing compared to what he used to go through before. They're just words, he tells himself, at least he doesn't get beaten anymore. Even if it's a lie, even if it hurts, he tells himself every day that it's okay.

Several weeks pass like that, with Kaiden coming almost every day to the Lin Manor whenever Heath says he's hungry. No matter how long it takes to cook the elaborate dishes that the Beta demands, he makes sure to leave before Damon arrives home. It's still too much for him to see the couple together, reminding him that he's an outsider in their bubble of romance.

However, tonight it seems that Kaiden severely miscalculated how long it takes to cook the slow-roast beef that Heath wants. By the time he's packing his share and heading for the door, Damon walks in.

They both stop in their tracks, staring at each other. One is in casual attire, holding a Tupperware on both hands, while the other is in a business suit, a frown on his otherwise handsome face.

Kaiden doesn't know whether he should run or hide; he's not prepared to meet the Alpha, at all. What should he say? Hi? Hello? Good evening, sir?

Before he can decide on which greeting is the least nervous sounding among all, Damon speaks first.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, voice gravely and low. "We're not scheduled to pheromone-share tonight."

He knows. Of course, Kaiden knows that he shouldn't have been here tonight, but what other explanation can he offer aside from the truth?

So, he says, "Heath asked me to make dinner." And almost every night too, he wants to add, but he knows it'll be better if he doesn't.

Damon takes in his figure from head to toe, eyeing the graphic t-shirt, loose-fitting jeans, and worn-out sneakers. Certainly, Kaiden is /not/ dressed to impress, but the expression on Damon's face reminds Kaiden of a gas pipe leaking, ready to explode at any moment.

Sure enough, Damon's next question comes out just as deadly. "Then what are you still doing here?"

"I—" the question holds Kaiden by the throat, unable to form any reasonable excuse.

What /is/ he still doing here, standing like a fool? Is it better if he admits that he was mesmerized by Damon's sudden appearance? Will he be honest and say that he wants to talk to Damon, to hear if his voice can be as gentle as before? Will his inner omega finally stop crying if he finds enough courage to say that they miss their Alpha?

No, none of that works. There is nothing he can say that can make the anger and disgust in Damon's eyes disappear.

Kaiden knows that, and it hurts. It hurts so much to be stared at with undisguised disdain from that one person he wants affection from.

But this isn't anything new. Kaiden is used to this, so he lowers his head and stares at his feet as he mumbles, "T-then I'll be going now."

Damon doesn't move, doesn't say a word, only watching with narrow eyes as Kaiden walks with brisk steps. Before he makes it out, however, Damon says, "If you think you can take advantage of Heath and his kindness to come here whenever you want, then you're mistaken."

Kaiden keeps walking; he doesn't look back.

Alone on the way home, he cries in the dark.

Kaiden is numb by the time he arrives at the 54th floor. The reflective walls of the elevator tell him he looks as bad as he feels. His eyes are swollen and his shoulders are sagging. There's no expression on his pale face yet there is no denying the desolate aura around him. Emotionally exhausted from stopping his tears, even the food container in his hands feels as heavy as lead.

From where he is standing, the distance from the elevator to his door suddenly looks much longer than usual. He is tempted to just sink to the ground and be one with the floor, but he pushes himself, taking one laborious step over the other.

About five steps away from his apartment, the door next to his opens.

Facing his celebrity neighbor, Primo Alca, the image of that Alpha whom he can't keep his mind off pops in his head. The two men have different sizes, different hair and eye colors, even different secondary genders, but in Kaiden's crestfallen mind, it appears as if the two have similar features. They have the same phoenix eyes, sharp noses, and even sharper jawlines. If anything, Primo looks softer somehow, with fewer corners around his demeanor, but still with that cold elegance. His gaze threatens to cut Kaiden into a thousand pieces.

Kaiden slightly shakes his head to snap out of his thought. Just because Damon occupies every corner of his heart doesn't mean he should project onto his neighbor. It's rude, even if it's only an illusion.

He smiles at his neighbor, acting as if he is just meeting an old friend at the grocery store.

"Good evening," Kaiden says, grateful that at least his voice doesn't crack, "are you headed to work?"

Primo takes one cursory glance at him before he shuts the door behind him with a bang. "You look like shit," he says with his voice flat and even, completely unlike the insult he throws out, "but at least I can't smell your pheromones. Guess those scent patches came in handy, huh?"

"Yeah, it did." Kaiden tries to laugh but when the sound comes out awkwardly, he nervously touches the scent patches sticking to the side of his neck, right on top of his scent glands. "I haven't thanked you yet."

To thank a person who has everything he ever wanted in the world can't be that difficult, right? It's not like Primo warrants a life-saving grace over a box of scent patches. Kaiden tries to mentally picture which of his meager belongings might interest the other Omega, or what he can buy that the other doesn't already possess, but when he comes up with nothing, he squeezes the Tupperware in his hand ever so slightly out of frustration.

Ah, he's still holding the Tupperware. Maybe this can suffice, he doesn't have an appetite left anyway.

"Here, take this as thanks." He pushes the container to Primo's arms, practically shoves it to the unprepared Omega, and fortunately, Primo catches it before it falls to the marble floor.

Primo tries to reject it. "No, I don't ne—" but before he can finish his sentence, Kaiden is entering his apartment with abrupt vigor.

"Well then, good night," is all he says before his pink hair completely vanishes inside.

Primo stands in the hallway, dumbfounded, staring at his neighbor's closed door. In all his life, this is the first time something like this ever happened to him. He's not quite sure how to react.