Chapter 226: 41 A Husk
I watched Raph swim, his strokes were even and measured as his strong legs kicked through the water. I sat and waited for him to finish.
I didn't want him to leave. No, I didn't want to go. I was going somewhere and I wouldn't be able to see him anymore, for a little while. He swam up to me. His silver hair had been darkened by the water.
He stared up at me with his glowing gold eyes, his fingers moved to touch my toes that sat on the edge of the tile. He didn't say anything, and I could find nothing to say.
I just stared into his eyes and he stared back.
I didn't find any comfort in them though; just pain and regret. The hollow ache in my chest built up till it became nearly unbearable. I reached out to him and he grabbed my hand, the water dripping from his onto mine.
He kissed my wrist and my lip trembled, my chest constricting in longing. "Brooke."
I waited to see if he would say more. I missed him, I missed his voice, his scent, his comforting touch.
"You have to let go." He said, his eyes held mine and I could see sincerity in them.
My eyes brimmed with tears and I blinked, trying to fight them. Shaking my head, I said, "I can't."
He smiled gently and began to let go of my hand. I panicked and felt a rush of tears, "No, you can't go. You can't leave me all alone." A tear leaked from my eye as I watched him with fear.
He stroked my hand, "I'm already gone, my love. You have to let me go."
My mouth parted open and the tears fell freely from my eyes, "I-I can't."
He climbed out of the water and walked towards me. I tried to hug him, to run to him like I wished to, but I couldn't move. He watched me with soft and serious eyes, placing his hands on my shoulders, he said, "My love, why do you hold on?"
I looked up at him, my eyes still watering with tears. I wasn't sure how to answer, "Because I want you back. I should never have left-" My voice broke and I inhaled sharply, "I should've stayed with you." I collapsed into sobs.
He kissed my forehead, "What happened, happened. We can't change the past. I'm gone." I broke down into tears and he left. He left me.
I sobbed on the tiled floor, my throat throbbed in agony and my eyes were swollen as they still released tears. My body shook and I hugged myself.
He left me.
I'm alone.
I'm all alone.
"Get up."
I sniffed and sat up, blinking at the bright light streaming in through the windows.
I blinked a few more times and raised a hand to feel my cheeks, they didn't feel flushed from crying and they weren't wet from tears. My shoulders relaxed, at least my dream wouldn't be evident. My dream…
My shoulders sagged and I looked at the creme white sheets. Raph's words rang through my head, "I'm gone…" "Let go…" "I'm gone."
I felt my tears prick my eyes and I gasped. My hand flew to my eye and I rubbed it away. I hadn't cried since he'd… since he'd… I hadn't cried since being rescued. Except in sleep.
I gulped. I didn't like this. I tried to bury the emotions but they continued to bubble up and confuse my mind.
I stood from the bed but my mind was still lost in the dream and my resurfaced emotions.
My feet padded to the bathroom and as I dressed I began to feel more numb than I ever had before. Looking in the mirror I felt nothing.
There was just… nothing. I was dead.
Before there had been my hands grasping to the broken pieces of myself, clinging to what was left of Raph.
Now… there was nothing.
I walked out of the room, James followed behind me with the suitcases. I thought back to one of Thresh's many reasonings to our getting married. One of them had been that James was at the risk of going feral. So far, I'd seen no signs of "feralness" from him.
My feet walked down the steps, my gaze straight ahead of me. I didn't know where I was going.
"Brooke, good morning." Kratos called from the bottom of the stairs. I looked at him and scanned over his face. He wasn't the same as me. How had he survived losing his mate? How had James survived losing his mate? Why can't I?
I completed walking down the stairs and strolled into the same living room we'd sat in the night before. I sat on the same couch, my brow furrowed as I tried to find something to think about, to feel, anything. But there was nothing.
James and Kratos talked and I soon realized that James was next to me, his dark eyes watching me with mixed emotions.
"Get up. We've got a flight to catch."
My gaze slowly moved from him to my wrist. My hair elastic was still wrapped securely around it. I moved my fingers to pull it back but James's sudden grip on my left hand stopped me.
"Stop doing that. You're going to hurt yourself."
I simply watched him. I wanted to see if I would feel it. His hand on my wrist felt fake, like it was apart of a dream.
He got me to my feet and led me out the door to the car that was awaiting us. I didn't see Kratos or say goodbye.
We arrived at an airport and James led me into a private plane. He set me down on a seat and buckled me up as I stared lifelessly outside.
It was all pointless. Why was I still alive? Raph had died, had left me alone. My baby… my baby who hadn't even gotten the chance to live was dead. I hadn't even known I'd lost him till Charm told me that the doctor had found evidence of a miscarriage.
I breathed in and out, waiting for my heart to squeeze or break. It didn't and I fixed my gaze on the empty seat across from me.
A hollow chest. I was nothing but a husk.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
QueenHalloween16
QueenHalloween16 I can honestly say that I cried while writing this chapter.
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