Chapter 38: Student life is lonely

Zi Mei had thought that once she starts college, she will get busy and won't have time to dwell too much over her miscarriage and being alone at home. But no such luck. Classes end in the late afternoon and usually, she will go hang out with her friends for a couple hours until they have to go home for dinner. All of her friends still lived with their parents so they still get home cooked food daily.

She, on the other hand, has to go home to her large, lonely house and prepare her own dinner. Sometimes she will takeaway from food from a nearby coffee shop and sometimes, she will just order delivery. Most of the time, she will stay in and cook a simple meal for herself. It was a lonely existence. One that she had not expected at all. Previously, she had to work round the clock and get a second job, just to make ends meet. She never realised how much it had taken up most of her time. She remembered getting home late most nights and crashing into bed utterly exhausted, not bothering to check if her father was home or out somewhere gambling all their money away.

Now, she gets home by evening, gets dinner prepared and she has all the time in the world till she goes to sleep at 10 o'clock. Or try to sleep. Most nights she would toss and turn till three o'clock before she falls asleep. The hours between dinner time and bed time seemed to stretch endlessly. Sometimes she will have homework and she would get it done within an hour or a couple hours. After that, she will just sit and watch TV or try to read. She wondered what other single people do alone at home in the evenings. While she enjoyed the solitude initially, she got over it really fast. That was when sometimes her thoughts would be filled with the 'what if' and she would stroke her flat belly. Then tears would threatened to escape her eyes and she will fight against it and think of something else.

A few times she contemplated calling for Thorin but changed her mind. He had not turned up since the last time appeared here in the middle of the night. That was weeks ago. Or was it a month? She couldn't remember. The days seemed to pass by really fast and each day bleed into the other without her realising it. She realised only one thing. She missed Thorin. She missed him so much, it ached. It was like she has a gaping hole in her heart that only Thorin could fill. Yet, she didn't want to call to him. Her heart longed for him, longed for his touch, longed for his embrace but her mind is still wary. Her mind is still wary of what might happen if they were to make love again. The longing and her wariness warred within her for days and weeks, with neither side giving in. She decided to ignore both and not call for Thorin at all. After all, he had agreed to give her time to recover.

"Lim, are you here?" she called out. Sometimes she would call for him and he will appear, always polite and always solicitous.

"Yes, Miss? What can I get you this time?" he appeared next to her.

She shrugged. She had only wanted company. Today, she felt particularly lonely.

"I don't know…maybe get me, say, a sakura chocolate from Japan," she said.

Lim nodded respectfully.

"Sure, I will be right back," he said. He disappeared and appeared about 15 minutes later. He handed her an array of chocolates. She took them. She wondered if they tasted weird?

"Lim, sit down and talk to me, tell me about yourself," she said.

Lim shook his head.

"Sorry, I am not allowed to do that, my orders are specific, I am supposed to protect you and come whenever you call to help you in anything," he replied.

"Well, you are helping by talking to me," she said.

"I apologise miss, I can't do that, if there's nothing else, I will go now," Lim said and then disappeared.

Ugh. Lim is such a stickler for rules. She only wanted someone to talk to. Darren had some family dinner thing and both Sheena and Jazzmine pleaded for time to finish their assignments on the last minute. It would seem they both have some 20-page report to complete in a couple days. She can't even call any of them to talk.

"Thorin..if only you are here," she whispered, leaning back on her lounge chair. Then she clapped her hands over her mouth. What did she just do??

True enough. As if heeding a siren's call, Thorin came striding towards her. How did he even hear her? She merely whispered that out.

"So, how have you been my little Zi? Enjoying college life?" he asked as he sat down on one of her armchairs and arranged himself into a pose.

Well, at least Thorin and his propensity to strike a pose, not matter the situation or location, didn't change, she thought.

"Why do you always have to look like a model posing for a photograph in any situation?" she blurted out, not for the first time.

He grinned at her, his white teeth gleaming. A silvery glow emanated from his dark eyes.

"What are you talking about? What pose? I naturally look like this," he replied, feigning innocence.

"Thorin…look at how you sit, that's obviously posing like you are being photographed," she gestured to his sitting position. He was sitting upright, his right leg resting lightly on his left leg, his elbow on the arm of the chair and his chin rested lightly on his hand.

"I don't know what you are talking about, this is how I sit," he said. "So, did you miss me?" he asked, leaning forward to her, now resting both his elbows on his thighs, forming a bridge with his hands and resting his chin on it.

"Not really…I was quite busy actually," she said, not wanting to admit it. She missed him dearly. She so wanted to fling herself on him and hug him.

"Well, I missed having you in my bed, that's for sure," he said. He got up and gathered her in his arms, embracing her. Her heart thumped and her pulse raced at his closeness. Her throat dried up.

"I am just waiting for you to recover to come back to me," he murmured against her head. He kissed her forehead gently. She gulped. She couldn't talk. She so wanted this. She sank into his embrace, revelling in his warmth and his arms around her.

He shifted to recline on her chaise lounge and held her to him, tightly, in his arms. He kissed her lips and she opened up, letting him in, welcoming the taste of Thorin that she had missed so much.

CREATORS' THOUGHTS
O_Lyn

First, a big shoutout to:

JoyKim_10

Insha_Ahmed

Thank you for your votes and support! Your support is what kept me going. On days when I am tired, your support gave me strength to go on. To keep telling Zi Mei and Thorin's story.

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