/ Sci-fi / The Adventures of Artemis
Synopsis
HIATUS
I plan to publish daily with around 1000 words a chapter.
This is a story about the adventures of a group of astronauts and their spacecraft "Artemis" This story revolves around 4 main characters and is still being written. I'm a new writer this is my first work so please give it a chance lol.
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4.74
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Reveal Spoiler
Everything I wanted to point out has already been pointed out by someone. Although what I could say is that the start was solid. From the first paragraph, we get to see that there's a dynamic between characters, there's a history. I loved the fight scene of chap 3, the action sequence was fast and kept me on edge. What I don't like however was the fact that the author doesn't split paragraphs. It was a lil confusing to read, especially when a scene is already going on and we get to see another scene in that same para. However, I can still say that it's good, I think the author has a well-thought-out world prepared for us to show. Ouuu and without diving much into the story I'll just put this here, I like Wesley's character lol. 5 star from me!
I do this review based on Writing Quality. It is understandable, which is good, but there is simple ways of making it even better, which will help in a long run. Separate the dialogues and don't write it so that different people are speaking in same paragraph, it might confuse readers, because it confused me and I had to re-read several times to understand who was talking, so always separate the dialogues when different person is talking. Also, I suggest downloading grammarly and even free version will help you fix comma issues and it's simple to use, nothing else and about the story itself, the 10 year ago stuff was weird because it was only few paragraphs long and I didn't completely understand what you were trying to do with it, but maybe I didn't focus enough and missed something.
Overall a very good read. I enjoyed seeing the way you portrayed your charactercharacters, especially Wesley. Definitely a book I'll be coming back to read for each chapter update. Cant wait to see what comes next, you've got quite a lot of potential. Keep up the great work! [img=update][img=update][img=update]
It has a good start to be on the same plane as stories like the Expanse or other ones in the genre. The only thing that feels like it is holding the story back is the character development and dialogue at times that feels stiff or out of place. However the progresssion and narration is good. Even the perspec swaps don’t feel off beat. Looking forward to next releases.
Overall your ideas and character personalities are present. World building I don't see any iddues either, so I'll just throw some tips on what to work on. 1. I recommend checking out for the capitalization errors. Your early chapters are crucial to pulling in new readers, so if you can fix that first and foremost it'd be best. 2. Second thing I think you can work on is dialogue interaction and wording. Some of the speech seems to be out of place within sentences, maybe it's just formatting, but this you can do some research on. 3. Recommend using grammarly to go through any mistakes. I do it with my own writing, plus the app is free. Just have to copy and paste there and see if any grammar or punctuation issues present. Overall I think you got the main meat down, just work on polishing some of the details and mistakes, and I think your writing will do well in the long run.
Its quite interesting. it has a couple of quality problems but besides that its fine. Definitely worth the read and am willing to give more time into it.
Great start! I don’t read many sci-fi novels but this gives me some great vibes! The world building is super creative, the animals, races, worlds, fauna are all unique and it leaves you wanting more! The pacing is fast and the suspense is thick! The characters are well designed, described in detail, and are unique in their portrayals and behaviors. Can’t wait for more updates!
I like the world building and world setting you've first introduced. Space, some history behind the cadet's backgrounds makes it to hook the reader in. I quite like it. Still, you put way too many commars (,) and make the sentences pause and pause interrupting the story dialogue. Just imagine as if you're the one talking and narrating the story. Thx I gotta go bye!
I don't know why, how and when I got here myself. Just wanna say, the plot was good... I'm too lazy to write a review. .. .. .. hdhsnhsdbhdndndjdj