Immortal Eater

LV 1

TriadBrew

Just dropping this to say that this is my first time ever writing. I will try to flesh out the plot a bit more over time. Many mysteries to be expressed. Thank you if you read. I hope you enjoy.

LV 15

One_Winged_Angel

Absolutely well written out novel! The premise takes the tried and true trope of weak cultivator, throws in a system, becomes OP MC. However, it completely takes it, turns it upside down, and throws it out of the window. The system is malicious, conniving, and best of all, self aware! It takes joy in giving the MC terrible quests, but also gives out powerful rewards! The spelling, grammar, and punctuation are all stellar. Update consistency is yet to be determined but 5 chapters is a good start! The novel leaves a lot of desire for additional chapters, which is a good thing. The world building is continuously being worked upon but there’s only so few that can be completed within a chaps. The characters don’t feel flat and they are well written. Looking forward to more being introduced.

LV 13

Photosphere

It's difficult to judge a novel that has these few chapters but here I go. *Writing Quality: The English usage is perfect, completely unexpected from a newcomer, it's obvious it has a wide knowledge of the language; proper use of synonyms, great distribution of content between paragraphs, nice delivery of sentence, a little too many censored curses, I'd recommend change for words with less weight if you're going to use that many to denote personality. *Stability of Updates: 10/10 since it's new. *Story Development: Can't tell much about this except that the story is advancing steadily, there is an antagonist, a love interest? and power... a system as well; the book doesn't have anything particular that might attract you at first instance other than the 'eat' power which I believe will be dwelled upon in advanced chapters; still, it's a good start. *Character Design: Not much to say here, one problem is that you have ingratiated so much the curses into the monologues, that's almost difficult to distinguish the characters from one another were you not to point it out; I recommend having monologues a little more original that give the characters a lot more meaning than the cliché young master and a young lady as for MC not much is said as to why he's trash why he as no powers, how he came to the sect, family, etc etc... *World Background: Minimal background descriptions, such as place, geography, geology; architecture of places, scenery; so on and so forth, needs to be considered for each scene to give further impact to them. The 'eat' power is something that might keep readers hooked for the first few chapters; consider adding something else to have them engaged, the cover is a 10/10 although it could be better, it's great to start. Best Regards!

LV 1

RazorReptile

I've read all of the currently available chapters and I just gotta say, this is the most hilarious cultivation system I have read. It makes a bunch of inuendos that are just very funny like "Small member" and the moons. Keep up the great work Triad Ill actually be reading more of this when it releases.

LV 10

queeen_of_acet

The novel is excellent, but I feel awkward about his eating tasks. Sometimes, I wonder why the author wrote it that way. The plot is well written, and you can see the excitement in the character's story. And I admire this work because it's for people with brave hearts.

LV 1

DaoistYao

was suggested to read after reading other stories like this one. really enjoy how the system isn't like other stories it really turns the idea upside down even though it's only few chapters the author has me on the edge of my seat and busting out laughing in each one. more chapters!!

LV 13

Sharyanna

I can tell when I read the story I nearly choked to death because I ate my lunch ... So, this is the funniest and hilarious cultivation novel I have ever read. And I want to say I will waiting for the following chapters imaptiently since I'm very interested how will the story and the events lead me.

LV 2

Justheguy

I quite loike it. Though the generic 'acne-faced' weak protagonist is a bit far-fetched in my opinion, but I like the execution and style you're giving it. Just needs like a theme or a right feel on the thing...

LV 14

Litaeus

Its an interesting story so far although there are only two chapters. I feel like it has the potential to be a good system thing. The writing could use a little improvement but besides that its fine.

LV 2

keulijeu

It's very good. Now I get where the Immortal eater title came from. The grammar is good and the plot is intriguing. Systems these days in novels are pretty abusive, are they not? XD. Though there are instances where a period is forgotten, it is important for a sentence to have a period so that it can be differentiated as a sentence than a phrase. But overall, it has potential.

LV 11

proking

Since the author has started writing for the first time and still learning things on the way, I'll be lenient towards him. First of all, the story has potential but the only problem is that the story is a bit rushed at the start. The characters are introduced one after another. So, it's hard to keep up with them or even attach the main protagonist if we don't even know about his back story that much. Obviously, it's a cliche cultivation novel where a disciple of a family or a sect is a useless cultivator and mocked by various people in his daily life. He get looked down upon by them and even get beaten up by them often times. However, the story didn't had a detailed explanation about it and the system was introduced a bit too earlier. I suggest author, that you should take it slow and give the story a pace while trying to focus on character building before jumping on to the main plot. So, try to remember these three things. The Hook, a starting plot where audiences get hooked onto the story just by reading it. The Hook can be anything. Mc's back story on how he got bullied and stuff. Second, the setup. this setup is for the plot where other characters are introduced at a slow pace and the story get a smooth flow rythm in a way. In this stage, you'll write about the internal conflict about the main character where he's struggling to choose between two sides. It can be fear of failing, any trauma he can't get over with vs the right decision to stand up against the injustice he's facing or anyone. So, that's when the readers will try to read more about the protagonist and will get attached to him. Third, most important, that is the first plot point where the mc has been put into a situation where he has to decide either muster up the courage to face his fears or live a cowardly life forever (this is basically a comfort zone where he don't want to come out since it became his nature or habit and it's hard to change that personality of his) So, when a urgent situation comes knocking at the door to him, the mc will get a wake up alert and get a clearity on his actual goal in the end. get it? Try to modify the plots and write a good story according to that. hope you do well. All the best!