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Star Wars - Rise of the Rust

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Synopsis

When metal is left forgotten it rusts, but even rust can be washed away with time

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  1. IWant2DieALilMore
    IWant2DieALilMore Contributed 164
  2. The_B1BattleDroid
    The_B1BattleDroid Contributed 62
  3. Dantess
    Dantess Contributed 15

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Starkiller_Revan

I just finished reading the first 20 chapters of this fanfic and so far it seems like it has a lot of potential. The overall writing quality is pretty decent. There are definitely quite a few issues when it comes to things like grammar, capitalization, punctuation, etc. but it is definitely good enough to where you can read or listen to it without fear of constantly cringing due to bad writing. The author also said they would be editing early chapters later on, so that is likely to improve with time. The story development seems very unique so far and seems to have a lot of potential. I personally have never seen another Star Wars fanfic set very shortly after the Empires formation or that has involved an orphan growing up on Geonosis (or any other CIS world). The idea of the MC having his own little squad of droids is also pretty interesting and I am looking forward to seeing how it develops. It does seem like the story is still in its introduction, however the MC has been making decent progress and it seems like he is approaching a point where he will be able to begin making his own way in the galaxy fairly soon. The MC seems very friendly, fairly inexperienced and somewhat childish, but I guess that is to be expected from a young, lonely and outcasted orphan. So far the MC is primarily just a scavenger that does not seem to be force sensitive, which is also quite unique for a Star Wars fic. There has not been much character growth or development so far, but there also really has not been that much room for either yet considering how early in the story it is. I may have missed them, but I do not believe there has been a detailed description of the MC’s appearance or past yet and I would certainly like to see both explained in better depth in the future. One recommendation I have is to consider taking the time to add images to the comments when you have the ability to, in my opinion it just seems to get readers a bit more involved and invested if they do not have to imagine everything for themselves. I do seem to be very early to this fanfic, so I am trying to be very lenient in my review as there is a fairly high chance that a lot of the minor issues will be solved with a bit of editing, time, and a bit more experience. That being said I do have a couple pet peeves I’d like to mention, one of which is that the MC doesn’t seem to ever loot anything, he only seems to scavenge for parts and trade or craft gear and supplies. There was a point where the MC mentions he wants to save up to buy a blaster, but later when he defeats enemies he doesn’t take any of the armor, gear, or weapons. There were also a few other times where he ignores gear that could be beneficial, like a knife and thermal detonators. I found those situations to be quite foolish as even if all of the gear is too big for him to use at the moment, having the fresh gear, parts, and materials seems a lot more beneficial than using old worn out scrap that he scavenges from old battlefields. The only other fairly big pet peeve I have is that the author made the MC very sympathetic to droids but not at all towards clones, which is pretty hypocritical and doesn’t really make sense. He seems to feel horrible for all the CIS droids who he sees as basically just slaves to evil masters that had no choice in their actions, but hates the Clones who are in essentially the exact same position as the CIS droids and have it even worse due to them all being alive, feeling, and aware beings while the droids only have the potential of growing past their programming. As a preface for this last point, I will fully admit that I may be reaching and drawing nonexistent connections that are just coincidences out of fear of disappointment. One thing that I have noticed is that there seems to be quite a few similarities between the MC’s and Rey’s story so far, with both initially being orphans living on their own outside the settlements that scavenge old tech to survive, both of their first “friends” also being astromechs and both of them initially appearing to be not force sensitive. Again, I will gladly admit that any connections are somewhat weak and I may just be reaching, but I beg you author, please do not use The Force Awakens as an example or outline for this fic if that is your current plan. You’ve set the story up in a very similar but unique way that has a huge amount of potential and I look forward to seeing it progress, I just really hope you continue making this into something interesting and unique. I currently have pretty high hopes and will be looking forward to how you develop the story in future updates.

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5mth
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IWant2DieALilMore

I am loving this! Kinda sad this story takes place 16 years before the movies. but I cant wait for more!

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3mth
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IWant2DieALilMore

Just re-read it, still love it . more please!

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2mth
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Sagvey_Ay

if you can make a 40k universe or smart intelligence like the amazing ultron and build your own android empire[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update]

1mth
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