Blood Stained

LV 5

DerangedPirate

I've read this till chapter 41. This story is vastly different from the canon storyline wich is a major plus for me personally. Often I find fanfictions to be far too close to the original story to actually percieve it as truly being different. Good on the author to have creativity. While I did enjoy this fiction there are some things that I don't like that progressively get worse as the story goes on. Granted this is just one mans oppinion and may differ from person to person. I will list them out as best as I can. In this story the protagonist is Harry. Both his parents are alive and well and he even has a twin Arthur. Voldemort attacks and much like the canon storyline he gets vaporized when he attacks Harry, unlike canon however harry's brother Arthur is percieved to be the ''chosen one''. As the years go by both parents focus more and more on Artur the ''chosen one'' and interact less with Harry to the point they even forget he exists. It is at that point at four years old he ''runs away''. This is where the first Issue I have with this fiction comes up. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In 41 chapters there is no explanation as to why this happened. In the canon storyline Lily sacrificed her life to protect Harry, and James fought voldemort to try and buy time/protect both Harry and Lily. They don't strike me as uncaring and neglectful parents so that can be ruled out. I imagine there is some powerful mind manipulation magic going yet even when they finally remembered he existed no investigation took place as to how this came to be. If two people completely forget the existence of their own child is not a massive sign that their minds have been messed with then I don't know what is. Yet nothing comes out of it. Makes little sense to me. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Second thing that Irks me is the way daphne behaves towards him. I don't really understand why he is putting up with daphne's attitude. He does not need to answer to her for anything period. He killed her abusive father for her, trained her in magic and gave her a job. Yet the way she's acting does not reflect an ounce of gratefulness. Who is she to question him at every twist and turn, when she has done nothing for him. She is about as justified in behaving the way she does as dumbledore is when it comes to the "dissapointed grandfather" act he's putting up towards Harry in the first 30-35 chapters when they interact. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Third thing is regarding his snake. Sammy was a regular black mamba when he bought the snake. He modified her with runes so she could become magical, tought her everything including magic. Somehow despite the fact that harry is the one that taught her when they sparred with eachother in chapter 40 Harry nearly got defeated if it were not for his demon flames. What in the hell has harry been doing all this damn time if even the snake he bought can almost surpass him if it were not for his demon flames an ability that he got by pure luck when he accidentally drunk the demon blood. Is Harry nerfed ,or is sammy his snake unreasonably strong? I feel like the ''power levels'' are completely out of whack in this instance. ----------------------------------------------------------------- The final issue I have with him is regarding the battle between him and Loki. He knew from the moment Loki landed on earth that he was strong. Yet in the fight between him and Loki he holds back his strength. This is such an annoying ''anime'' cliche. Someone trained as an assasin would not do this, ever, period. Then he convinietly ''forgets'' that Loki can shape shift for the sake od plot and as a result finds himself in more danger. During the fight he even has the following internal dialogue; ''damn he's good. I need to do something before he can get a true advantage over me'' A situation wich would have never taken place if he didn't foolishly hold back against someone he knew was powerful. ------------------------------------------------------------------- It's a shame really because while I do like this story the four example's I gave made my reading experience much less enjoyable.

LV 4

TheAbsolution

Amazing fanfic one of the very few fanfics with amazing Harry though he is not a reincarnated... great start..... chapter 1 to 3 were amazing well designed though it wold have been certainly great if you would go a bit.... just a bit into more details at some places it felt a but skipped over ... great fanfic though... keep up the good work