Chapter 36: Bloody Ambush, and A New Business Venture!

A lone caravan of monks continued on its way along a forest trail, beneath a dense dark canopy that stretched across the sky like a cancerous mass.

The monks of the caravan could sense it: an implacable sense of dread that fell like a blanket upon the entirety of the region, which was said to be infested with ancient spirits of darkness. Which is why, throughout their slow march they burned holy incense, in an effort to combat whatever evils were quietly slithering in the dark; producing trails of swirling, miasmic smoke in their wake as they hollowly recounted their sacred warding chants. Yet still, the sickly feeling they all shared did not go away.

Something wicked was in these woods. Silently lurking, and watching their every step.

Something that Kiki knew better than most of her peers—having been on this trek many times before, and lived to tell of just how badly shit could hit the fan whenever you least expected it.

"Stay sharp...guys," warned the young lady in a quiet voice; a gloomy, introverted way about her. She had unbrushed, shoulder-length dark hair and huge, dark eyes often concealed by her long bangs. A shorter-than-average height and slim stature that visibly inclined her more towards evasion than aggression.

"Th-th-those shapeshifters...could be anywhere!" she stammered. "Could be a p-p-pebble, or a pretty girl!"

A few scattered scoffs and chuckles came out in reply from some of the other monks in the group, including an annoyed-sounding "is she serious?" Followed by another, trying to sound tough, saying "someone stuff that crazy bitch's mouth with their you-know-what!"

Kiki noted their doubt-filled responses, looking downcast. "Ow, don't say I didn't warn ya..."

Such a cold reception wasn't at all unfamiliar to her. Most of the monks looked down on her, for one reason or another. Whether it be because she wore a plain white gi, denoting her as a mere acolyte with no access to chi manipulations unlike the black-robed fully-fledged [Dragon Monks]. Or, because she was an n-sexy girl was timid and depressing to be around. Even just over the fact she was a mere [Level 3].

"Ow..." she murmured to herself. "Even in the afterlife, I'm always being picked on."

For another hour the caravan pressed on in silence, without pause or rest. Until it came time for lunch, when it stopped unto the side of the road so that the chairs and tables could be taken out of the wagon cart, then arranged on a patch of grass to serve as a makeshift dining space.

Having made it this far without incident, Kiki breathed deeply with relief as he found herself a free table, taking in the delectable scents of what awaited her.

"Mhm! See, Kiki? Everything's fine. There's nothing to worry about."

"It's all in your head. All in your head..."

Subsequently, a large tray of [Pepperoni Pizza] was wheeled out into the center of the dining area where everyone was gathered, and all the hungry ascetics gathered round.

It all seemed normal at a glance, as Kiki knew the pizzas would have been prepared a day in advance back at the monastery so the caravan would have something to eat on their long trip. The pizzas themselves weren't like cheap fast food quality pies either: they were prepared by Master Rank [Cooking] chefs, using only the finest ingredients sourced from resource nodes and wild monster drops; baked to mouth-watering perfection, every time, in a brick oven.

However, something smelled fishy to Kiki, about this particular batch. Literally.

"Uh...guys?" she said, trying to get the others' attention. "How am I smelling these pizzas, like they just came fresh out of the oven an hour ago?"

One monk snapped, "shut the hell up, bitch!"

"Ow, b-b-ut seriously! There's steam coming off of them and everything!'

As Kiki's pleas remained unanswered, all she could do was sit and shift her gaze across the dining area, watching the others eat; as gradually, more and more warning signs that something was incredibly wrong began to show.

First, it started with some of the monks horrendously coughing, spewing bits of undigested pizza everywhere, desperately clutching at their throats.

"No need to rush, hehe!" Kiki said with an uneasy grin--hoping they'd simply forgotten to chew--when the same rude, unknown monk from earlier could be heard heckling her again, even more loudly and aggressively: "someone rape that annoying little twerp until she's either dead, or too scared to speak again, so that I can enjoy my pizza in pea--" *cough* *cough* *cough*

"This...meat," groaned one of the retching monks, with a disgusted grimace. "Doesn't it taste funny?"

On a whim, Kiki ran up to grab a pizza from the trays to examine it. In doing so, she discovered that the cheese possessed a tough and chewy rather than gooey and stretchy consistency, slightly less delectably burnt in places than the usual; as well that the crust was soft rather than crunchy, while conversely the pepperonis were less crunchy and more soggy.

"This doesn't look right..."

She squinted, staring closely at it, until her eyes abruptly widened as her face went pale with fear, prompted by a sudden hair-raising, spine-tingling realization:

"These pizzas—they're total imposters!"

Her words were like a catalyst, the trap then immediately being sprung: As all at once, the Rakshasa reverted their transformations into the delicious, steamy hot pizzas, including those slices that had had already been bitten into or eaten. Thus, resulting in cases like one half of the Rakshasa, having been inadvertently chewed up into pieces and swallowed while in "pepperoni pizza form," being fatally "transmigrated" back into its normal form, while floating in a monk's stomach--faster than you can say "I'm so hungry, I could eat a full-grown man in a fursuit!"

Most of the higher-level, black-robed [Dragon Monks] were killed instantly as a result, leaving behind only a decided B team composed of slackers, the absolute softies with enough respect for their seniors to allow them to eat first, the vegans and the anorexics, to face off against the Rakshasa.

On the other hand, the Rakshasa physically towered over their ranks, at full heights of over two meters when standing on their hind legs—like a man—bearing tiger-like features with thin, light orange coats of fur patterned with dark markings. As for dress, their variably hulking or slender catlike frames were dressed in loose-hanging garbs of vibrantly colored cloth, imparting them with a look of desert nomads hailing from faraway lands.

In combat, their base forms were blessed with many natural gifts such as claws and teeth, while possessing far greater strength and agility than the average man--making their fight with the surprised monks a one way slaughter.

As a measly [Level 3], Kiki knew she didn't stand a chance.

Adrenaline pumping, she wasted no time running for the one defense at her disposal--one of several lit torches placed in a brazier on top of the wagon cart.

"S-s-tay away! Bad kitties!" She yelled, waving the torch to fend off a pack of them as she backed, slowly, toward the wagon cart--with a panic-stricken look on her face of someone who's running entirely on fight-or-flight. "An ugly loser like me isn't even worth eating!"

"Shut up, bitch! You're so goddamn annoying!"

Before she could finish, a Rakshasa blindsided her with a kick that flung her to the ground, as she lost her grip on the torch--its fire becoming unlit when it rolled until it collided against a tree.

And it was then, and only then…

That "totally" coolheaded Kiki officially lost her cool head.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

She panicked, crawling across the ground--

Dodging swipes and kicks and bites--

Elephant stomps, swooping eagle talons and screaming monkey lunges--

Finding cover under the wagon cart, albeit only for a little while, until a clawed furry hand reached under and yanked her out, bringing her face-to-snarling, bloodthirsty face, with a yellow cheetah-spotted girl Rakshasa who haf...

An...adorable face, and wiggly pink ears?

"It's okay, I won't eat you!" The impossibly cute rakshasa said with an impossibly cute, light voice, as Kiki still wouldn't cease whimpering and trembling, cowering helplessly within her unceasing grip.

Kiki struggled, but already knew her fate--

She was headed for the big Bronx in the sky, and there was nothing she could do about it!

However, it was at this exact time...

When all hope seemed lost--

That a Hero came [Scurry]ing unto the scene!

As Akira Maximilian! AKA SexLover69, lunged with her clawed fists drawn to tackle one of the Rakshasa to the ground with a cheerful battle cry, as the cute Rakshasa holding Kiki, seeing this, promptly dropped her and escaped into the woods.

After dispatching her first opponent, with a clean claw gouge to the throat, Akira glimpsed the [Level 3] Human girl named [Kiki], with another grabbed torch in hand, wavering nearby while watching her, mouth agape, through eyes drawn with thick dark circles.

Next, Ai joined the brawl--giggling as she emerged out of [Stealth] to kill two Rakshasa at once, with precisely executed backstabs.

"Looks like Big Sis got us here just in time!" she bleated--as if there weren't dozens of corpses of fallen monks and half-eaten Tigermen scattered about, serving as prime evidence to suggest the contrary.

Akira had since moved on to ferociously pummeling once such Tigerman, while Kiki watched in awe.

"Wow!" Kiki thought aloud.

"I only wish I could kick ass like that!"

Kanna, her movement being unaided by Squell [Scurry], was the last to arrive--producing a whirlwind with a reckless swing of her hammer that took a few of the set up chairs and tables, Rakshasa, as well as some of the monks for a roundabout trip--to a face first collision with the nearest tree trunk.

One of the Rakshasa attempted a strike on Kiki, but Akira quickly moved to intercept it.

"Y-y-you're incredible!" Kiki said to her.

As she humbly replied, "I know."

A chaotic brawl ensued, but one leaning entirely in the monk's favor--thanks to Akira and associates--with the carefully orchestrated plan of the Rakshasa, that had demanded many sacrifices to be made in order to pull off, being soundly thwarted by a crew of wandering perverts.

Ultimately, the Rakshasa forces had no choice but to flee back into the woods with their tails between their legs, as the physically inferior vestiges of the monks gave a great cheer to their unexpected saviors.

Once the dust was cleared, Akira took the quivering Kiki by the hand.

"You're really cute." Akira said. "Can we talk?"

"C-c-cute?" She glanced around, just to be sure she wasn't talking to anyone else. "Me?!"

"Yes, you.

Kiki gave a slight nod, accompanied by a barely audible whimper, and a series of rapid nods. Her pale face completely flushed as she looked upon her valiant, well-endowed savior, with wide saucers for eyes.

"I'll tell you anything," said the shy monk girl dreamily. "You saved my tushie back there!"

Akira grinned, drawing her close.

"Actually, I'd like to get to know your tushie. Perhaps over a bottle of Chardonnay."

Kiki couldn't handle so much dizzying charm at once. As, with a flustered moan, she felt her conaciousnesa fading, teetwring back and forth before fainting into Akira's arms.