/ General / Four Hearts Of Love
Synopsis
Changes are Permanent
At Last Two Hearts walked
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4Reviews
- Translation Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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This might have to be a quick review, just because it was difficult for me to read through the chapters. Please don't be discouraged by the low rating, I do think this story has potential. But for now it's too messy for anybody to read, could use a lot of editing. Writing Quality: It felt like I was reading a script. For example: eg, "Harry eyes filled with Tears He opens his mouth.." You could change this to "Harry's eyes were filled with tears, as he opened his mouth to speak.." You don't have to capitalize a letter unless it is a new sentence or name. So tears should be low case (t) not capital T. Punctuation can be fixed easily if you use writing programmes like Grammarly, it will help with grammar too. The dialogue is hard to follow. For stories on this platform I suggest using " " otherwise anything else looks like a script format. Tenses: Chapter 2- Marry thanking him for saving Susan's life - (Stories on this site go for past tense, so I'm guessing you meant --> Marry thanked him for saving Susan's life) The writing was all over the place, the author should perhaps get somebody's help for editing.. The random usage of emoji's to replace words wasn't needed either. World Background: Author explained the setting on the forums but if not, it would be hard to tell. The description in the opening chapter could be a lot better. Character development: The relationship development seems to be too fast? Only four chapters in though, so maybe I'm judging too early. Four chapters in with the authors lack of description makes it hard for me to learn about the characters. Need to work on characters thoughts and feelings. Story development: This plot is very unique, bird stories on WN? Hardly any. So I appreciate the author for trying out something new. Good luck, and I hope you continue the story. Just make note of the points I pointed out above..
The story between birds & human is really awesome.... The birds are example for love... Need a badass character.. The way of you convey the loves scene between Susan & marry awesome
The plot is really very interesting.. Here in web novel, birds love story is very rare.. Susan and Mary, I love those birds.. They love each other truly. So sweet...😘😘 Story development is not bad. I read this book, It kinda good and neat story.. Well done..
It is a cute idea about a story between a human and bird 🐦. It it gives a deeper truth about how the world is. It is so nice so far. Keep developing more.....