Chapter 22: 22 | Painful Separation
____ 𝐒𝐄𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐍
"No! Stop! It hurts!"
"I will only stop when you know what you did wrong!" An excruciating pain seared my back as I knelt on the floor, a blood-curdling scream escaping my lips. "Do you know what you did wrong, Sebastian?!" the monster yelled, hitting me again.
"I don't know! I really don't know!" I want the pain to stop. I want someone to spare me this pain. Please.
"Then try and figure it out!" the monster raised my chin upward as my eyes met its eyes. Devilish. It felt like I was looking into the eyes of a monster. Its eyes held no other emotion other than rage and disgust.
My eyes shot open as the dream ended. It was only a dream. Adrianne got out of bed and headed out. She didn't notice I was awake. Good. After last night's occurrence, I felt terrified of what was to come. I know I would trust her all too quickly. It's always like that. Same routine, same result. Trust them, get tricked, get hurt, repeat. I didn't want to go through that horror over and over again. So this time, I'll be keeping my walls up. From the moment I first met Adrianne, I knew that a part of me wanted to let her in. She was witty, feisty, and loving
From what I've observed, she loves her family. I have to be completely honest, I'm jealous of her relationship with her father and her sisters. Although I had no siblings of my own, I wanted to treat someone like that. I could count the number of friends I have with my fingers. Honestly, that night at the club, when she slipped on the spilt drink, I tried to hold her to keep her balanced. But, somehow, she managed to spin around and fell on me. Perhaps she was too drunk to notice I tried to keep her balanced. I wanted to stop Amarra and her from fighting because it was kind of embarrassing. But something else that was more embarrassing happened.
Glancing back at the clock, I chose to continue sleeping. At the end of taking another thirty minutes of sleep, I decided to get out of bed. I grabbed my phone from under my pillow and saw thirty-eight new notifications. It wasn't really weird for me nowadays seeing as it could be by...fans per se. What was strange was all of the messages were from Amarra. A person whom I would technically call 'friend with benefits.'
Amarra:
Sebastian, we need to talk. Please.
Please reply.
I need to tell you something.
I'll be waiting for you at the beach.
Please come and meet me, I miss you.
I jumped off the bed and lazily walked to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, I went to our bags that were still piled up in the corner and took some garments to wear.
Whatever Amarra wanted to clarify better be good– I'm not giving up time for me for this. It pains me to be getting out of bed instead of sleeping in. Weekends are always my best friends.
I changed into a green turtleneck and trousers and a beige trench coat that I finished with dress shoes. I grabbed my car keys and ran down the stairs. As I descended the stairs, I could smell good food being cooked. Perhaps by Adrianne.
A smile made its way to her face as her eyes landed on me. "Good morning!" She greeted rather cheerfully. She had been cooking what seemed like a burrito, she just finished wrapping it when I came down. "I made breakfast for the both of us."
I had the urge to just stand beside her and eat with the burritos she made with her. It's just...I'm scared. A drop of sweat trickled down my back. My heartbeat raced in my chest.
"I have to go somewhere," I forced myself to say. I couldn't bear seeing her reaction so I quickly spun on my heel and headed out. Upon taking my first steps outside the door, I felt a hand on my elbow.
"What's wrong? What did I do wrong? Was it something I said?" she fired question after question.
I pulled my elbow away from her and blankly gazed at her. "No. It's not you."
"Then what? What's wrong?" she asked.
I shut my eyes and turned around, jogging to my car and entering it. It was painful for me to not explain. I want to tell her everything. But I can't. A part of me felt like we can never get along, that we were just two people put together for the sake of more wealth. And I knew deep down that what I wanted– to become friends with her– was just a fantasy. It would never come true. We both wrecked something in each other's life and I know that we hate each other for it.
__________❇__________
I pulled up by the front of the beach and headed out. From a distance, Amarra's red hair stood out in the blue horizon. She was walking along the shoreline as she held out her arms as the wind flew by her. Amarra was my best friend ever since we were young teens. I transferred schools because of that, it is hard to adapt to a new environment. At first, I didn't expect somebody to approach me during the first day of school. Students might think of me as the weird one in class. Or the unapproachable one. Just when I sat on my seat that day, a redhead that sat beside me waved at me and introduced herself. We became friends after.
Glancing at her and the oceans, I slowly shut my eyes. I listened as the waves crashed against the shore and how they retreated back to the blue depths. The ocean is like a portal that takes you to the aquatic and terrestrial worlds that hold thousands to millions of species. Species that we're slowly killing. I slowly closed my eyes as the cool breeze stole the warmth from my face giving me a whiff of the brine. In the distance, waters swirl and seagulls cry. The waves rolled in with a soothing sound as children attempted to chase the water. I opened my eyes once again to see the sand that glittered under the torrid sun. Everything about beaches always soothes me.
I walked towards her and as soon as she saw me, she stopped whatever she was doing and started trudging in my direction. Her once serene expression was now full of tension. Her lips quivered; she's nervous. "Sebastian," she breathed out.
I nodded my head in acknowledgement. "How have you been?"
She swallowed hard. "I'm doing fine..."
Unexpectedly, she placed her hands on my cheeks and leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away. "Amarra, I can't do that. The press–" I interjected.
"W-What?"
"We can't do anything we used to be able to do comfortably in public. Since he put a wedding band on my finger, I lost part of my freedom," I elaborated. "He would be pissed if this goes out–"
"I know...I know what he does," she said as she grabbed my fists that I didn't know were clenched.
I dragged my hands away from hers and turned away. She knew almost everything that happened to me when she was the only girl I paid attention to.
She cleared her throat. "So Sebastian, where do we stand now?"
I froze. Where do we stand now?
"I can't– We can't continue going like this, I want us to go back to the way we were before. Before Adrianne came," she spoke. "I want you to have the freedom of being with me."
"Amarra, you know that's impossible–"
"Sebastian I can't handle not seeing you every day, every night, every minute." She wrapped her arms around herself.
"What do you mean?"
"Damn it, Sebastian! What do I mean?" she raised her voice. "Don't you realise? I love you!"
I stopped at that. I frowned as I gazed at her. There were tears that began forming in her eyes and her lips were trembling. "We had a deal–"
"That's the problem with you, Sebastian! Everything you do is connected to making deals! Do you ever wonder what you make people feel?" she yelled, shutting her eyes as tears stained her rosy cheeks. I closed my fists tightly as she let out a sob. "You never knew did you?" I shot her a confused look. "You never knew that I fell for you?"
I turned my head away in shame. "I didn't want to assume...even so, I could never return what you felt. I made that clear the moment we first slept together."
"There you go again. I'm guessing making agreements and deals are your favourite activities." I stayed silent. "Why– why can't you love me?"
My eyes slightly widened. "Amarra, you know why," I said through gritted teeth.
"But why can't we just return to before? Act like you never met Adrianne?" She stroked my arm. "You don't even love her. You don't have a connection with her."
"Amarra, she's not so bad–"
"Oh my God," she said, eyes wide. "You trust her already?" She let go of me and frowned, "It took you a year to trust me! It took you a year to finally open up and show me your vulnerable side! And it takes her a few weeks? What did she do?" she asked, tears streaming down her face.
I stiffened. She was right. I'm beginning to trust her all in a matter of weeks. While she had to wait a year just so I could finally be open. This was my problem. I let my walls down and Adrianne was slowly getting in. This can't happen again. I can't get hurt and tricked again.
"Sebastian– please. Come with me. We could tell your father that–"
"No. He won't believe any of this and won't let anything change," I cut her off, getting annoyed at her suggestions. "Besides, you're the only one who's going to benefit from this if we do. Not me." I paused and gave her a pointed look. "I thought you knew what he does."
"If we fight together if we tell him that you feel nothing for Adrianne. Please just come back to me," she pleaded.
I stayed silent. I had nothing to say. Well, I couldn't say anything. All of my responses would be the same. We can't.
"Please say something," she spoke again.
"Amarra. I can't be with you, whatever we had has come to an end." I took a step away from her, "I'm sorry."
She scoffed as she wiped away her tears. "You break my heart and all you can say is sorry?"
I shut up and turned around. "I'm very sorry."
"Forget it. It's not like your 'sorry' could return anything."
And that's right. Words couldn't bring back what's done.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone