Synopsis
When a child is born in the Antilla world, their bloodline will resonate with the stars. It will then absorb dominion energy and create a tattoo over the child’s body.
This tattoo is called Dahl, the later the child awakens the stronger the Dahl will be.
The Medes continent is dominated by the Eros dynasty, where the remnants of the primordial beings are still present, in here it is known to exist a group of people that call themselves “Indomitus”. They possess unequaled power and they explore the mysteries of the Dahl.
Jen is the orphan heir of the Renia clan, he has always dreamed of becoming an indomitus. However, despite being a genius and pouring all his efforts into cultivating he is an "ordinary" person due to not being able to awaken his Dahl. This caused him to be the target of humiliation in his clan. It became even worse when the head of the clan, his grandfather, suffered grievous injuries while battling a mystic beast and lost his status of clan head.
This caused Jen to be forced to escape his clan with nothing else than his clothes, his savings, and his grandfather battle saber.
From now on, he will have to rely on himself in order to pursue his dreams and walk unhindered across the world.
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I think you could work on more with your writing flow and not just jump on things take time to shape your story because you already have a really great concept... if things suddenly happen out of nowhere without some kind of build up the readers won't be able to keep up with you. let the readers enjoy your writing. for example in the first chapter the mc was just talking to his grandfather but he suddenly had to escape out of nowhere sure his uncle has some evil plans but nothing concrete has happened yet. I think you could develop more encounters and conflicts to further justify the mc's motivations I can already see that you have an outline in mind on how the story would flow base on your writing I think you can't wait to get on the exciting parts. all in all though everything's great but hey we all strive to improve so keep on working hard and good luck :) this is just my opinion I'm not trying to diss you or anything ok. I actually like this novel with its great concept. I hope you don't hate me or anything like that. I'll be waiting for more chapters thank you and good day.
Hey Webnovelist! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email kenreview@outlook.com We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
You have already told me what is going to happen and I am confident it will be pretty good so I will leave you a good rating xD but you better vote me when I write one hahaha
Hmmm doesn't look too bad. I am putting the rate quite high It looks pretty good for now at least. Keep it going and Gambate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn 140 characters...
Hey guys Shangits here! This is the first time I am writing a novel also English is not my first language so don't be too hard on me. I would appreciate if you guys could point me to some grammar errors, misspelling... Something that would also really help me would be some feedback on the chapters. In this app, we are all novel fanatics so what better community that one of avid readers and fellow Daoists to receive pointers. "Pun intended lol, Wait...Noooo don't go I promise there will be no more bad jokes don't leave just yet." "It's good that you didn't leave or you will miss my beautiful review" (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌 Another thing I wanted to say is that I am not to clear on how many chapters there would be but I plan to make it long:" Not naruto length, don't worry. Wait does this count as a bad joke too?" and I am not planning to abandon it halfway or create a half-assed ending, so relax ;') As for what the concept of the novel is. Well is going to circle around our MC the Dahls and the Indomitus. Indomitus means to be indomitable in Latin and I wanted to show that they are just like this. Indomitable, unrestrainable... Explorers that don't know the meaning of fear. I have quite a lot of things planned and I am certain it will be interesting so stay tuned. That's all I can think about, as for the tag I would prefer to include them as I advance in the story because it may have romance... (Definitively no harem lol) Thanks for reading my review. Best, amazing, kind and whatever positive you can think of regards. Shangits ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ (Damn corrector stop trying to correct my name, Shang De your head. I am warning you to stop it now! )(ง︡'-'︠)ง