/ Fantasy / Lead Them
Synopsis
Lead Them is a novel based around the kids of perfection. Each one has something that makes them perfect, yet that is exactly why they are more flawed than any other human to exist.
Follow Kat, your female leader, who isn't quite ready to deal with the moody Felix. Forced to be under the same team, this unlikely duo try to survive as others hunt them down.
In a world where death of others is the answer to get closer to the perfect human you wish to be, how far will you go?
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This is Brandon Gould the writter of the Tylingariea Epic i am responding to a review swap that i have sent here is my review I want to start off and say that i enjoyed the book very much. the writing was spot on and the pacing is at a steady pace. I will give my thoughts on a few things in these first three chapters you have created several points that can be the start of charter arcs here is my suggestion being that the main goal is become a prefect being and Kat is not able to obtain this also feels respical for some sort of event that could have killed the rest of her team. my idea is that you could deconstect what it means to become prefect and how it is a mere impossible task to obtain. i would also like to know more about the other teams and how they are acting in this new world and what there thoughts, feelings and how they think about others in this world. but these are just suggestions that i have i am sure you have a idea of something like this i will be sure to keep a look out for more chapters in the future
That's an interesting plot and story. It's like survival of the fittest. Author did a great job in describing things making readers like me to understand things easily. However, I should say, the first chapter got me a little confused, but I am sure, as the story progressed my understanding of the story too increased. Dialogue exchanges were also well written. I can't comment on story development yet. But, I can say author did a great job in describing scenarios. Keep up the good work author😊😊
This is my honest review after reading the prologue and the first chapter. Overall, the descriptions are vivid and lovely when it comes to describing the scenarios happening around the characters. Dialogues are well thought and well made, not cringe. The stability of updates is an automatic five for me. No misspelled words or terms could be seen within the first two chapters of your book. Let's go to the story development! There are two chapters so far, so I can't quite say whether the development is fast or slow. Although the descriptions of the scenarios are vivid to the point I could portray what's happening, the author lacks character design. In the first chapter, I couldn't portray how the character looks but I could portray hot the character feels. Perhaps you could add how the characters look. Such as hair color, eye color, complexion, and stuff similar to this. That's all, and pretty much everything in this novel is amazing. Keep up the good work author and keep on writing!
Aesthetically pleasing and very intriguing to read. While it is hard to keep interest at the first chapter (well, that’s just me), I did pick up on the vibe sooner than I expected and got hooked. :^)
I wanted to give you 5 stars to motivate you to write, but I will just deduct a star from one category because I wanted to be honest. I like the idea of a survival setting and for this story, it is termed R.A.I.N.B.O.W. I would have preferred if the overall rules or system of this particular game was explained, even if it is brief. In that way, the readers won't be confused as to what was really going on. Felix' abrupt character change from a timid boy to a perpetually irritated youngster really surprised me. I don't think it's bad, but is it because there was an undisclosed catalyst that urged him to change or is it just his character design? For Kat, she reflects anybody who is firm with their moral grounds. It's perfectly normal to feel guilt when you're murdering someone in exchange for your own safety. However, she should've been mindful that she has a partner, and her decisions will affect the entirety of Red team. You've done well in being descriptive, and I appreciate that very much. It's better to be wordy rather than be lacking in descriptions. With that in mind, although they are vivid, I just want to suggest to you to not use only adjectives in narrating the sceneries or the visuals of your character. Withal, it's merely my preference and I'm not forcing you to do it. I also noticed some sentences that broke the third person POV narration of your story. I don't know if they're part of a dialogue since they're not in quotations. (If you want me to point them out, just tell me :D ) Grammatical mistakes are present such as misuse/overuse/absence of punctuation marks which leads to run-ons and comma splices, questionable word choices, and some incorrect verb tenses. These grammatical mistakes are easily proofread and we all make this mistake, so don't worry. I simply wanted to point them out because I know that your work can still be more beautiful. I'll be cheering you on! I'm looking forward to your review. :)
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