/ Fantasy / Legends of The New World
Synopsis
Ave is a seemingly normal househusband/freelancer with a family of four. He is a simple father with an avid interest in games and anime but everything changes when he enters a modern, ultra-real game called The New World.
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It's the year 2149 and humanity has upgraded from a small planetary bickering species to an inter-planetary space-faring bickering species. In this age and time, robots have taken over all the works from coffee-machines to sex-therapists and global dissatisfaction is on the rise. To curb any kind of violent arson or crime committed because of stressed up 'teenagers', the United Nations started the game called The New World.
A modern, ultra-reality with divine graphics and immersion to funnel all the evils of man and woman.
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The picture is a gift from a fellow author, Kiiara and I don't own it. Thank you
Please NOTE: This novel might contain some BL or Homosexuality, even between the MC and others. It is by no means a pure BL novel and the MC is very much attached to his wife, who is a lady (if you're wondering) but there might be some instances with BL moments. Please be considerate in the comments and not curse at me for not informing you about BL moments because I just did.
Also, please be considerate toward LGBTQ community and respect them and their preferences.
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6Reviews
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Hi for you game lovers! I think this book will suit you! I love the MC, I think u portray a gamer character correctly. Although some part a little bit excessive but that’s okay since this is fiction. Tehee...we need dram 😏 Now writing wise. Just some minor errors and punctuation. It already flows smoothly though and thank god for your paragraph break. A lot of new writer don’t pay attention to this. Plot wise, it’s sort of interesting from what I’ve read so far and synopsis is written well. Couldn’t say much cos there’s only few chapters. But yes, I love where this is going. Keep up the good work author! 👍🏻 P.S. check out the link below. You need a good cover for a start that will help u attract viewer. Hope you like it! https://ibb.co/PMVk3Lg
Nice synopsis. Not really your average gaming novel.... It has its own twist. I like the change from the **** or a bit of an ***** transmigrating into the game world. This time it is an actual father of two.. With his devilish daughters and a warrior like wife. Its nice. Little or no typo. Grammatical error, nearest miminium. I'm still learning as a writer myself. All in all keep it up.
"Btw, there is no major problem with your writing style or grammatical errors but I hope that you would recheck the first chapters. There were a few minor mistakes but those get overlooked often." This is something I would suggest to you too. I really like your story and will probably continue to read it if you keep me hooked :D
Nice one . Though i am not really a fan of gaming novels i like this one . If you are a fan of gaming novels ,this is for you. As for the grammer i cannot point out mistakes as i am myself a beginner . But i want u to keep writing it . Now for the characters i like the Male Lead . I hope you will continue to develop him .
I found a little, just a little grammar error that I know of in some chapters (I'm also a newbie author so my judgment about grammar can't be trusted 100%). And I also agree with the review from MokouFriedChicken, you can describe more of the character's actions. Btw I like the MC's personality as a henpecked husband, it was funny :)
First review huh. Let me do the honors then, I only have a few critiques anyway. First up, grammar. Fairly solid, but could still use some polishing. There are some actions that needed to be written in past-tense that's currently in present tense form. Also, the first few chapters were rough in terms of this so you might want to give them another look over. Prose. Your flow reminds me of mine, albeit in first person, so that's fine with me. Just needs small improvements that experience will give you. Dialogue. Faily natural and organic, which is good. Although, you might want to give some of the dialogue a bit more spice. Not with describing their tone, which you already do, but with their actions. That way, you can convey tone without going 'he sighed' or 'said annoyed'.Plus, it gives character. Story and plot I'm fine with quite honestly. I'm not big on the Gamer genre so I have no right to critique that. That's it I guess. You have solid fundamentals. Just keep on writing and you'll pass me in no time 👍