New Life Series: Danmachi and Dragon Ball System

LV 4

ReeneKanz

Heyyy...when is it the updates..i hope we got female protagonist..and there's no romance..if you want to do romance..pls do the side chapter..i look forward to this😆😆😆

LV 4

Odinsohn543

Sehr Nice, aber leider keine regelmäßigen Updates Mach bitte weiter ich möchte sehen wie es weiter geht bisher sehr Interessant, und ich hoffe das es nicht fallen gelassen wird xD

LV 4

Odinsohn543

Ich finde bisher hast du das Sehr Gut gemacht, Mach Bitte weiter Ich freue mich darauf was du in Zukunft noch so alles bringen wirst ich wünsche dir Viel Erfolg

LV 13

HaremLoverKoneko

Bad.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXPEXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXPEXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXPEXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXPEXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.EXP.

LV 10

TurtleManiacc

more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz more plz

LV 4

Emo_Gee

U N I Q U E V E R Y W E L L . H O P I N G M O R E U P D A T E S T O C O M E Anyway! Make more chapters and the storyline more interesting to get everyone's attention.

LV 4

Odinsohn543

You should be very careful dbz lets Danmachi look like dirt when it comes to fighting power the ssj is enough to kill gods without much effort Well, even though they are just more developed beings and no god

LV 10

Sylphe

First off, I feel kinda mean giving a low rating so let’s just get’er done kinda like ripping off a bandaid. Overall I like the concept of the story it’s just that it needs a lot of work. Writing: -Lacks proper grammar -The scenes feel like they come out of nowhere and end without much development -the conversations seems forced and like it’s missing dialogues. -my only recommendation is add more details Stability of Updates: -There’s not much to go off of atm since the story has only been updated twice. Story Development: -each scene feels rushed and incomplete -one thing to keep in mind is that you’re not writing a story outline but the story itself so make sure to add plenty of details to allow the readers to visualize what you want them to. Character Design: -near nonexistent if at all. -the characters features are not described in details and their personalities seem seems odd and off -I get that this is a fanfic and you’re using pre-designed characters in your story but in an original work not developing your characters would never slide. World Background: -World development hardly exists but since it’s a fanfic I’m not rating it too harshly. -I’d recommend you to at least explain the basic world setting and how the world works so even those that haven’t seen or read the original work before can follow along your story. Lastly all I can say is keep writing and eventually you’ll figure things out. Also I remember to and ain’t feeling too lazy I’ll update the review in the future.

LV 5

Majeh7

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

LV 11

CHAOS

Good.

LV 4

Odinsohn543

have already read five times from the beginning! Please do not drop the story is awesome! I am looking forward to the next episodes (^-^) Oh no, wait! I can not wait to give me all episodes xD!