Synopsis
Musashi Akiyame was a teenager that wanted to live his normal school Life until the past of his family was reaching out to him. A shadow was following him that he can't escape. He must face his past and even reach out to abnormal powers that are forgotten by this world. Will he achieve Peace in this World? Or will Valyria fall under The Dragonborn.
Find out and follow this exciting adventure through a World full of magic, mysterious creatures, Legends and the Realms.
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4Reviews
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- Character Design
- World Background
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I like the concept and idea of the story, but it is almost impossible to read. Punctuation is a mess. Events and interactions are a mess. There are tons of references to characters that were never introduced. Well, at least it helps to ignore the forced logic behind MC's actions. The way the author tells the story gives you cringe vibes; it's like reading the thoughts of a teenager, who gets easily distracted by literally anything while never having a meaningful or coherent line of thought. A novel could become two times better if only the author used some Microsoft Word software to check for obvious mistakes.
The plot and the lore of the clan are very interesting. I really want to know more of the clan it’s history. The villains seems really promising tho, as well as Sia. In some paragraphs the writing style seems a bit off, but overall still nice. I don’t really like personality of Rione. Musashi and Sia are likeable though. Story looks promising, looking forward.
Reveal Spoiler
Story development is hooking. Although the pace is slow I still wanted to read on and see what was happening. What I think you need to work on is descriptions. I couldn't picture the school classroom in my mind. When you're describing, talk about everything. It's the reader's mental picture that helps us understand what's going on. Also character design can be worked on. Apart from the main character, I couldn't really see any unique characteristics of other people. Writing quality is nice. Keep it up. Your idea is unique and that's the beauty of WN