The Jade Gate

Re-Write: I am planning to re-write this story. Please provide feedback on my thread: https://forum.webnovel.com/d/12881-re-writing-the-jade-gate-please-provide-advise

Story Synopsis: Born into a wealthy family, Leonardo Escarra should have had a carefree life of pleasure. Unfortunately, a debilitating physical illness made him lose hope. Trapped in a broken body, Leonardo sought escape through virtual reality games, eventually creating a fulfilling virtual life within the popular Continent of Heroes multiplayer game.
When the Continent of Heroes game finally went offline, Leonardo used his vast wealth and hired talented guild mates to create a private server to house the Jade Gate Guild’s prize creation; Jade Gate City. A player-built settlement and dungeon which acted as meeting place for current guild members and a tribute for those who had passed on.
Due to an operation, Leonardo missed the private server’s opening day. When he finally managed to log on, instead of appearing at the Jade Gate City Portal Room, Leonardo found himself in a cold dark cave. He was given a Quest; to rebuild Jade Gate City.
However, this world is more than it seems. What Leonardo at first believes is a simple private server is in truth a real world and his mission to rebuild Jade Gate City is just the start of an epic journey that straddles multiple realities.

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Author notes: I wrote this for Writing Prompts Contest #16: Kingdom Building. Like my previous writing prompts, this story has been created for me to experiment with my writing style. In this instance, I am deviating from my traditional Third Person Limited perspective and attempting to write from a Third Person Omniscient perspective.